Yes, Gregory Maguire, we all see how LARGE your vocabulary is.

Screen Shot 2015-11-17 at 2.28.44 PM

Walrus (Disney Wiki)

I always pay special care to caterpillars.  I move them from the walking path, and take time to place them without disruption next to the juiciest looking leaves. All of this even though they’re probably rude. Walrus’ being social animals, of course are friends with carpenters and walk upright on two deeply grooved fins. All of this information is thanks to my childhood attachment to Alice, and I would argue most of the “odd girls club” attachment to Alice.  (We used to meet in the bathroom and create secret handshakes).

Art by Serafini Amelia

Art by Serafini Amelia

What Gregory Maguire does to Alice and to Lewis Carrol’s famous story told lounging on the banks of the river in Oxford, is such a shame.  Gregory Maguire already has the ability to turn fairytales to textbooks, but I was hoping this one would be something like Wicked.  By the time I reached the end of the Wicked marathon, I appreciated the retelling and Magurie’s quirk of language.  In After Alice, he cannot decide whether he is annotating a discussion of Oxford in the 1860s or if he is retelling a fairytale.  I can assure you this isn’t a retelling, it’s more of an afterward (except most of it is during).  In fact, it’s not even an afterward. It’s like a second telling, or a bad dream based on something that happened in real life.

Ada, arguably the second main character in After Alice (when she should have been the first), is a “sickly” child who wears a metal contraption in order to have feminine posture and a womanly gait.  She falls down the “rabbit hole” while her sister Lydia, arguably the first main character, is engaged with Midsummer Night’s Dream, which I hoped would play a bigger role in Alice because I think the two pair relatively well.  Lydia is busy finding her place as the woman of her household after her mother dies.  She’s not quite sure how to act appropriately with male visitors, but in the end typically just does what she wants.  To us, this looks like her talking out of turn, leaning a little too long in a doorframe in the direction of a man, and walking alone through the silent garden paths of Oxford with Mr. Winter.

The Oxford Debate found on jamescungureanu WordPress Blog

The Oxford Debate found on jamescungureanu WordPress Blog

Mr. Winter is trying to convince Darwin (of all people to have in Alice and he wasn’t even used, just a tired old man who needed an in-home nursing assistant) to honor the abolitionist side in America with his endorsement.  Winters has adopted a fugitive boy named Siam who also ends up in Wonderland, a very strange twist on his fate.  When Ada gets lost, her all too annoying nanny searches for her throughout the story’s length of a day, Mrs. Armstrong (headstrong), who believes all too entirely that due to Ada’s sickly nature she shouldn’t be out gallivanting with Alice who often loses herself in the day.

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While Lydia is busy trying to push her feminine woes onto Mr. Winter until she realizes she would have to be a mother to Siam, Ada is in Wonderland questioning rose bushes who have polite disgust for the girl, meeting Carpenters, hiding in seaweed skirts, riding kites with marionettes, and running from the Jabberwock which turns out to be her very own metal contraption (don’t worry I’m not ruining this for anyone).

Screen Shot 2015-11-17 at 2.38.04 PMMy biggest problem with the story doesn’t lie in the actual plot, but in the telling.  Maguire has a way to make every book inherently boring because of his use of words that NO ONE has ever heard of.  I have an English degree, and teach high school English daily, and I just knew to have a dictionary “at the ready” while I was reading.  It was a huge snooze fest.  Even in the middle of a beheading, I just wanted the whole thing to end.  In normal circumstances, every book with a hint of Alice, I would politely pah-pah and not tear down, but this was such a sham of a book.

Darwin @

Darwin @

Gregory Maguire wanted to write a book about England’s view of slavery, add Darwin to the mix for no purpose, and host a gaggle of unimportant characters while a child runs through Wonderland and has the occasional conversation that makes the reader just giggle.  There was hardly any whimsy in this book.  Gregory Maguire wants to retell stories, but he doesn’t want to keep the initial essence of the original.  In order to remix a story, the essence and the bits that reader’s love need to remain true.   When I read Alice, I don’t want an education, unless it’s an education on the philosophy or my own inner feelings.  I don’t want cringe-worthy details about sexism and racism when I pick up a retelling of Alice, I’m looking for the strangeness of a world that feels more like home than the “real word” where sexism and racism doesn’t even care to stay in the shadows any longer and just walks out in the street naked.

Alice in Wonderland: Underground Feminist Since 1865! Now available at Quietest Coyote, $7

Alice in Wonderland: Underground Feminist Since 1865! Now available at Quietest Coyote, $7

This was a book where nothing happened. Nothing changes.  Ada will return to the “real world” and to a reality of being judged for her apparatus.  Lydia will remain a woman that’s expected to keel at a man’s expectations.  This, Gregory Maguire, is just what we tried to escape in Alice.  Alice is a girl who does what she wants, who speaks to the unspeakable, who fights the legends, the expectations, the roles, and just lives the extraordinary in a world that wants to keep everyone except rich, white, men, at ordinary.  Thanks for writing another book of history where even through escape, women are just stuck one world below.

Meet Me at the (Book) Auction House

Coffee selfies. (Hand model).

Coffee selfies. (Hand model).

The fine people, literally, fine china, at (an online auction house) asked me to make my dream literary collection, which is actually impossible.  So, 978 books later, I decided to choose a few, more than a handful, of books and things that are must-haves in any library in which I inhale the sweet smell of browning pages.  If these books & things reside in your library, you must be a gentlemen or lady of exquisite taste and valor.  Or, we could just be besties. Keep in mind that this collection is what I’ve found looking through  the collectible books on on an endless search for mystery and mysticism. Or I just spent the morning in a coffee shop looking all important and professional while I took selfies with my latte.

  1. Screen Shot 2015-08-13 at 10.54.10 AMAlice.  I would take a Game of Thrones punishment to have a limited edition Alice or a signed copy (Lewis Carroll) of Alice in my home library.  I already have about nine versions of the book – including an annotated version that’s my favorite (Thanks, Mom) – but this would be set into a glass case, the dead asleep Snow White of my library.  I would require gloves for those that wanted to turn the pages.  I would have museum viewings for locals just in case they wanted to witness the magic with their own eyes.  Alice – the freak show.  Alice – the circus act. If you think I’m kidding, you haven’t read enough of this blog to know how ridiculous I really am.  Invaluable has the lot starting at 640 pounds.  There are winter holidays coming up, a solstice, a giving of thanks, a Christmas, a festivus for the rest of us, if you want to go ahead and cross that ownership off my bucket list.
  2. Screen Shot 2015-08-13 at 11.05.19 AMChildren’s books. No library would be complete without my favorite children’s books.  To be honest, I’m a little miffed that they don’t have a limited edition or vintage edition of The BFG which I would also do unnamable things for.  I would lick the face of *he who shall not be named* for a chance at any BFG memorabilia.  At Invaluable they have sets of vintage children’s books, even a classic “Little Toot” which I haven’t seen in any libraries.  I went with the vintage Dr. Seuss because he’s a classic, and I love the theme park, and my boyfriend is a complete WWII buff and there’s a mysterious connection between Dr. Seuss and WWII that I sometimes allude to with my students (if they want to further research), but most of the time I just keep it to myself.
  3. Screen Shot 2015-08-13 at 11.15.18 AMAll the books I’ve ever taught to high school students.  I love my job.  I don’t think I could possibly love my job more.  Even when it causes me ache, it causes me more happiness than probably anything that’s ever happened in my life.  I cherish my students comments on the fiction that I’ve taught and the ways that they’ve taught me to be a better reader and a better person.  There are hundreds of first editions of books that I’ve taught on Invaluable.  And just for myself I made a little list.

Screen Shot 2015-08-13 at 11.26.11 AM4. The contemporary poetry is lacking a little bit at Invaluable.  I found a first edition of Sylvia Plath’s Bell Jar WITH THE PSEUDONYM, PEOPLE, but I’d much rather have a signed or first edition copy of any of her poetry collections.  What’s really annoying about this is that Ted Hughes has TWO (TWO?!) poetry collections at Invaluable.  I have a love / hate relationship with Hughes because I abhor his handling of the Plath estate, particularly the publishing of her diaries in their entirety starting with her high school days.  However, I also am thankful that he did this because her best writing is in these diaries.  And she was definitely a hot mess.  I think if she would have heard that phrase about herself, she’d correct me with powerful and meaningful synonyms or vocabulary for it.  Seriously though, what a gem, this pseudonym.  Man, my rhyming is on point this week. Actually, can I just trade rhymes for this book? I’ll write a year of rhymes.  Anyone….? Anyone….? Bueller? …. Bueller?

Screen Shot 2015-08-13 at 11.32.19 AM5. Because my boyfriend sent me Poe and Whitman quotes and poems for the first month that we were dating and so both of these American staples have a billboard on my heart.  This included flowers TO SCHOOL which my kids went down to the office to collect and opened and read my Whitman card which said “We were together. I forgot the rest.” Swoon worthy, I tell ya.  And while I never thought of Poe as swoon-worthy … what with the incest pedophilia, which was more okay in that time period, and I’m sure being all… ominous and raven-y made it hard for him to create his newspaper dating profile … but, swoon-worthy it seems is relative.

Screen Shot 2015-08-13 at 11.48.51 AM6. I didn’t realize until I was scanning Invaluable how many artists draw nude women.  I know nothing about fine art, I just like wandering through museums, but is this like the basics of drawing?  First, you must draw a nude woman, you must get the landscape of a feminine form correct. While I find this a bit irritating, I also think this is a testament of the power of a female body.  In my library at home, I have a woman’s wall.  I don’t have it up in the new apartment because it’s too small to have a woman’s wall, but in my house, it’s still up.  It has my grandmothers, Virginia Woolf, a woman watering a garden, a woman doing washing, women and their children, women and clotheslines.  I adore it.  If I find a piece in a vintage market or a flea market that I love, I buy it and hang it on the women’s wall.  I like to think it’s a feminist women’s wall, but it has a lot of domestic tasks, inevitably how women were portrayed “back in the day” (only like thirty years ago).  While this is the most expensive auction I wanted on Invaluable, how beautiful is this woman, and how often are our minds made of blow fish?

While this isn’t my perfect and ideal library because I’m not sure I could ever create that, it is a library that I would probably take a stab wound to own.  I’m constantly adding to my favorites list and discovering new historical time periods, new authors, new genres, new words that I have to know, and eat, and digest, and then use as my own lexicon., thank you for a fun Thursday of auctioning off my heart to collectibles that I can’t afford.  It’s been real (real desperate).


A lovely acquaintance, Mollie, made a bookish instagram for her editing called Molliereads (  AND it inspired me to make an instagram for bookishness and blogging and happiness and words and connecting.

Find me on Instagram @ bookishcassie

You can view my bookish life as it unfolds and we can share favorite books, book photos, and book comments together in a smaller platform.

See photos like the following:



YES. LET’S DO IT. If we can get a few followers from the blog maybe I’ll do Project 365 the Bookish Edition. That would actually be incredibly fun.  I’d have to read everyday for sure (not that I don’t, you know you have to get your before bed read on).


Feels @ Tumblr

I can’t remember which one, but in one childhood movie, a character used The Bible as a sort of fate guessing game.  Point your finger, open a page and press down hard on the words of your future.  The only way God will tell you if that boy is going to breakup with you on Saturday when he meets Rachel is through random Bible trivia.  I think it was that movie where the girl stuffs her bra with ziplock pudding packs.  It’s the same girl that’s in Hocus Pocus.  Why can I never remember the name.

I’m sorry to say (is this a moment when you use one of those #smh) that I believed this was how God spoke to people back in the day.  Bible scavenger hunts and what not.  Most of my boyfriends either got dumped by Bible dosages, or I decided whether or not to lie to my parents about something minor.  Now obviously, I’m much more grown up and sophisticated (maybe not, #smh), and I have new ways of dealing with stress.  Flipping quarters. No just kidding. I have a book, a book for all things, all times, all feelings.  1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names is a book from the lovely people at Penguin who send expansive emails with lots of verbiage.  They are book people after all, and they tote a small penguin around with them in their purse so we have to give them a break.

1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names by Mario Giordana, Illustrated by Ray Fenwick, translated by Isabel Fargo Cole

1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names is a beautiful book.  French flaps (I learned this word from Audra @ Unabridged Chick), strangely unique illustrations (like looking at a Tumblr typography page), and a translator.  You know it’s going to be interesting when one day you’re able to use that language and the original meant tongue instead of lip and all of a sudden that kiss is much more sloppy than romantic.  A girl can dream.

Not only are the illustrations “ballin'” but the book is so much fun to scavenger hunt.  Having a rough day, close your eyes and crystal ball the hell out of #623. The fear that the medications won’t work.  Or maybe you’re “rough day” amounts to #666. The desperation when everyone tells you you’ve got to “finally let go” — and you can’t.  If you’ve never had a crying fit in your car over #666, then you probably haven’t lived through a teenage girl.  Or finally, for all the colleagues out there with desks to close to sneezing, sputtering, yammering, coughing, talking to loud to their ex-boyfriend, gum chewing, hair curling, professionals out there, this one goes out to you.  #802. The disappointment that other people get by just fine with advice and assistance. OH, YOU DON’T WANT TO TRY MINTS INSTEAD OF GUM, YOU ENDLESS POPPING CACOPHONY.

Anyway, there are unexplainable feelings for every moment of your life in this book, just about.  I’m sure we could come up with a few of our own if we had a book club, and a few restless wives just lying around. (Ba dum cha). Here are a few of my favorites with brief explanations:

  • #390. The envy of other people’s hickeys.

Ray Fenwick Art

Explanation: How much change did you find in that dirty couch when you didn’t know where to put your hands.  I’m looking at you, freshman, front row, hiding that red blotch behind a JROTC uniform.

  • #107. The anxiety that maybe you’re not a real man because you’ve never been to a brothel.

Explanation: Is there where women ladle out soup from large cauldrons wearing nothing but their skivvies.  Let’s stick to that.

  • #100. The felicity of the first touch.

Explanation: I have an American Girl Doll with that name.  She lives in the attic.

  •  #863. The indignation at being called vain.

Explanation: Oh, you mean, those seventeen selfies I just took because I couldn’t get one good one for #selfiesunday.  We see you, instagrammers.

  • #676. The urge to swerve into the guardrail.

Ray Fenwick art

Explanation: Normally this would be called depression, but I have this strange lingering feeling, just a nagging little itch, that everyone has looked at that metal bandaid on the high way and wondered at what speed they could shift it’s surface without killing themselves, sometimes on those rough days (623) how fast you’d have to go to plough through.

  • #485. The happiness of lounging on the sofa together.

Explanation: If by lounging on the sofa you mean in the guest bedroom because my boyfriend is allergic to cats and watching the entire first and second season of American Horror Story in one day so that your eyes are so bloodshot they refuse to close because they have reached that level of openness that now it is about survival.

  • #199. The certain serenity while gazing out a train window.

Alice Feels These Feels @ Disney

This feeling simultaneously makes me feel both alone and together with the entire world.  It might be the way you don’t move for the entire train ride, but stay stock still with your knees together as a school girl, or it might be the blurred grass that the human eye can’t make out by blade or bush, but this feeling is one of my very favorites. I can’t read on a train because I get car sick, my eyes trying to peripheral the view of the window while at the same time scanning the page.  Just not a good thing, so window it is, almost always.  The same thing can be felt in a plane, but that’s more of a “you’re just a speck in the vastness of the universe” than an actual fully together, ripped apart feeling.

  • #18. The dread of ice breaker games.

I think I feared this more than my camp children when we would play these in the large field.  I was a star swimmer in high school and yet the mounting fear was always, will I be picked last?


*With this outpouring of feelings, I have suddenly remembered (by googling pudding packs in bra movie) and the movie that I loved, oh so, is “Now and Then.”

Swoon-Worthy Bookish Valentine Gift Guide


Create your own flame with this Bookish Valentine Gift Guide

The Big-Hearted Book Lover:

Big Hearted Book Lover

Big Hearted Book Lover

For the Coffee Shop Daters:


For the Bright & Bookish:


For the Note Passer:


For the Girl Who Carries Her Weight in Books:


For the Girl With Lists That Have No Titles:


Girls Who Celebrate Caturday with Books:


Bookish on a Budget (Nothing Over $15):


A Little Bit of Bowels, A Little Bit of Bookish.

So, I’m a teacher…and what do I have a lot of right now?  TIME.  I have so much time.  I wouldn’t be complaining about it if I had some expendable money, or I wasn’t surrounded by cornfields on all sides.  These hinder the luxury of time.  Yesterday,  I was in Walmart spending three hours grocery shopping just to eliminate some of that time.  An hour of that was probably pushing the cart and riding it down an empty aisle.  I kind of created a game with myself where I had to beat a certain time before someone turned the corner and walked into the healthy-eating cracker aisle.  No one in my small town is eating healthy crackers, let me tell you.  I also spent a good fifteen minutes talking to one of my students after I hadn’t showered, painted my bathroom (white paint in my hair), no makeup, and definitely nothing better or easier than sweatpants on.  No matter, this is how that conversation went:

My life as a teacher.

My life as a teacher.

“Hey Ms. M.”  | They always come up from behind so I had to turn around and see who was addressing me by my father’s family name.

“Oh Hey, K.  How are you?” | Here’s where he progressed to come around my cart and hold on to the back so there was really no escape.”

“I’m good, what are you doing here?”  This is my favorite teacher question.  Whenever I’m out in town somewhere, usually the grocery store, my students will spot me and either A. ask what I’m doing there or B. smirk around corners and tell me the next day that they saw me out at ______ and I drive a black car, and I rock out to my music.  This time K chose A.  This is my favorite question because the obvious answer is, “well, I have to eat, K, I am a human being,” but my students don’t really like that answer.  In fact, K responded with, “Oh that’s right, I just thought you were a teacher…hey, I might be moving.”  We talked a bit about that and then I moved on to waste more time on July 4th activities like pinterest, the book I can’t seem to finish, and washing my kitchen floor.  (Thanks, Mom).

bluebathroomSince I have all this glorious time, I decided to take on a few projects that I’ve been wanting to accomplish in my 2013 list AND BEYOND.  The first was my glorious evening sky blue bathroom.  Pictured to the right.

I was actually really into this color because I found a cat picture at the flea market, or the thrift store, or some store my mother and I willy-nilly walked into.  My mom’s the queen of “Pull over here! There’s a sign for thrifting!”  There’s something honorable about owning an old object, or an object that already has history embedded into it.  My mom always picks up sweet sewn handkerchiefs, table settings and quilts at the flea market and says “Oh, some grandma made this and now it’s at the flea market.”  I love to make up stories about the objects we meet on the dusty tables.

Portrait of older couple by itinerant photographer Albert Ewing. @

When I was in high school, I liked to buy old photographs and write stories based on the people in them.  I stopped doing this after I found some pictures in an old suitcase of whole families who weren’t smiling.  I’m surprised there was a time in history when people were told not to smile.  Real classy, 1800s.

You thought I was kidding about the Antler Chandelier.

Anyway, it was time for a change and so I looked all over Pinterest for pictures that would inspire some sort of bathroom wonder.  I found all kinds of funky guest bathrooms, some inspired, some splashed color, some were just unique in that I could never recreate an antler chandelier with things I find in the backyard.  I may be a scavenger, but I definitely can’t carve things, shoot things, or skin things.  That’s just not my style.

Being a teacher, I can definitely work with chalkboards though.  Lucky for me, Pinterest had a number of chalkboard inspired bathrooms.  They are so awesome that I’d like to share a few with you.

Pinterest Bathrooms

Pinterest Bathrooms

A | This is just a dabble in chalkboard bathroom etiquette.  If you don’t want to dive right in you can make a DIY chalkboard towel rack.  Directions are @ Makely Home

B | I’m OBSESSED.  However, that’s definitely green chalkboard and it reminds me way too much of the Little House on the Prairie school house.  Plus, am I really going to Secret Garden my bathroom wall?  I don’t have a claw foot tub to make that look extraordinary.

Literary Art @ Obvious State on Etsy

birchGIRL no. 5 @ DanielleDonaldsonart on Etsy

C | This was at Intridecline and while I really loved the idea of it, I wanted to do something like this in my study.  I’m currently in the process of creating a “Feminist Wall.”  It’s going to be a wall of paintings and prints of women doing things that I love.  It’s a little Rosie the Riveter mixed with Virginia Woolf.  I have a hard time defining my womanhood anyway else.  This idea came to me today by the way.  I was just painting my “red study” white (it’s still got one red wall for accent, since that’s cool now-a-days) and it just hit me how many prints of women I have.  If anyone wants to buy me this Virginia Woolf print or this chunk of birch wood painted with redhead, I can promise you endless letter writing.

D | Also no link on the interwebs.  This is a chalkboard door.  I thought this would be really interesting, but then I couldn’t decide if I should chalkboard both sides, or just one.  Then it would only be fun when the door was closed.  I have this wicked old wallpaper in my hallways and I refuse to take it down because it makes me feel like English royalty, but the antique mint and ivory of it doesn’t really go well with black chalk.  They do make any color chalk at Lowes as far as I know.

Creamed Fro

Creamed Fro

None of these were exactly what I wanted so I ventured out to create a mix of pinterest and Cassie.  I wanted a chevron wall, but a wall that was cut in half; half chalkboard, half chevron pattern.  I wanted to be able to write bookish quotes on the top, but still have a fun and flirty pattern on the bottom.  This is a guest bathroom and you must always keep your guests entertained.  I’m sure I read that in a debutante book somewhere.  I must have skipped the chapter on table manners though.  The first step in creating what I wanted was taping off the wall.  I’m not going to write about that because by the end I had paint in my hair, Fromage had tape stuck to her foot and she had already dipped her nose in the white cream.

Kooky Chevron

Kooky Chevron

Really, all you need to know is I can’t measure and I can’t tape the same amount everytime just by looking at it.  Don’t they say that men are much better at spatial reasoning?  This bathroom project proves that.  So, I just did a kooky version of chevron that seemed to fit me better.  It had a little bit of an Alice in Wonderland twist.  Everything mustn’t be straight all the time, must it, it must be turned a bit to the right or made nearly impossible to look at.

After you paint the chalkboard paint, you have to wait THREE DAYS until it dries and you can write on it.  Because I’m impatient and I believe rules are stupid, I went ahead and waited almost two days and then I did the damage.  I have a tendency to go overboard on projects like this one.  I’ll get to that perfect amount of paint, chalk, pen lines, and then I’ll just maul it with other colors and specimen and it’s all downhill from there.  I really had to reign myself in with this one, but here’s what the chalk looked like after I was finished:

DSC_0360 DSC_0355

If you’re wondering, I stole this quote from Her Words Composition Notebooks.  I discovered these little diddys when I was in Australia and they’re currently sitting on my Christmas List for 2013.  They’re by Live Inspired and they have the perfect amount of line space (college ruled) and the lightest dotted lines.  They’re second to my absolute favorite notebook brand, Green Room.  This is a line of notebooks dedicated to women and they have notebooks for every occasion; travel, new opportunities, sea life, etc.  They’re definitely a backpack full of joy.  I was deciding between three or four of their notebook quotes and I thought this one went with the Alice quote, “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”  If you’re going to go Alice, go big or go home.

I didn’t stop there though.  I wasn’t done at pure chalkboard.  My classroom needed a few do-dads to make it pop for next school year so I’ve been trying my hand at covering cork boards with fabric.  While that isn’t going too well,  I did have a fabulous idea for a picture clothesline.  Guess where that idea went…guess…guess (I feel like that camel in the Humpday commercial – FAVORITE COMMERCIAL EVER).  It went right into my bathroom.  Thanks to My Favorite Things Blog I was able to print Instagram photos at Walmart.  I printed 6 Instagram photos per page using the 8×10 collage tool.  It’s really awesome, guys, if you have Instagram, you should totally try it.   As the boy says, I don’t have a facebook because I fill that need with Instagram.  He’s probably right, but he most likely won’t read this so I don’t have to worry about him doing a “right” dance.  Also, at Walmart are tiny clothespins.  They’re really adorable and you can get a pack of 20 for under $3.  I then pinned a string up in the corner of my bathroom and used the clothespins to hang the cut-out instagram photos.  Here’s how that turned out:

Instagram Banner

Instagram Banner


That one to the left is when my mom wrote with chalk on my nephew’s easel. She’s cute that way.

This is my first DIY project and definitely my first on this blog (I think…don’t test me).  I’m pretty proud of how it all turned out and here’s one last picture.  Hopefully soon guests will show up for the “ooooh” and “aaahhh” factor.

Final Bathroom Shot

Final Bathroom Shot

Wednesday Newsday, Maybe?

Favorite Tweets:

Book News:

Newsday Tuesday

Favorite Tweets:

Buy Amy’s Poetry Collection. She’s the bomb.

Favorite Search Terms:

  • library bingo: How exactly is this played, and do you win books and bookmarks at the end?  I want to be there.  I hope there are older women with coins and golden tubes of lipstick in their pocketbooks.
  • dreams about bowel movement in public in a chamber pot in a shoe: This was just too much not to share.  What are we “there was an old woman who lived in a shoe?” but yet still lives in a Hunger Games district?
  • cassie lamberta wedding: The weird thing about this search term is I dated a lambert.  This google made me want to sit in a closet and rock back and forth in the fetal position.
  • Just Buffalo Noah Falck: Does this mean one of my favorite poets and one of my favorite cities have joined forces to help people read.  I WILL be exploring this next time I visit family.
  • the main theme in the play “ the best daddy “ by shel silverstein: You’re cheating on your homework, aren’t you?
  • alien ship district: You may be looking for a more science-fiction blog.  However, I have trapped many an alien UFO in my backyard using my spy goggles and pink tool kit.

Book News:

Newsday Tuesday

It’s almost MOVING DAY folks, so bare with me.  We all look a little like this:

My adorable nephew loving the U-Haul in the driveway. It is officially an alien ship.

Favorite Tweets:

Favorite Search Terms:

  • bird model girl: I wish I was a bird model girl.
  • french children’s story cassie and be be: Claire do you know what story this is? I would like a copy!
  • I refuse to sink: It always amazes me what people google.  I feel like I should write, “Call the hotline.”
  • mexican chicken noodle soup: I’m definitely intrigued by this.  Is it like spicy chicken and beans in a noodle soup fashion?
  • lightsaber coloring pages: When you find these, let me know so I can make my nephew into a young padawan. Also, did everyone know that wikipedia has something called “wookiepedia” where I just found out how to properly spell padawan.
  • beauty and the beast library: See Image to Right.

    Marry the Beast, Get the Library.

  • beetlejuice book of the recently deceased: you are my hero.

Books News:

Newsday Tuesday

Favorite Tweets:

Favorite Search Terms:

  • Cassie sparkles Michigan: I’m not sure if you’re trying to find your long lost love via google, or just letting me know that Michigan will crown me and let me wave from a pageant float covered in sparkles and frankincense.  Either way, I’m for this search – I back your stalker ways, and your fourth grade crush on Cassie Sparkle.  I can only imagine what her yearbook picture looks like
  • toddler lawn furniture: This gives me THE BEST mental image, but what am I…Target?
  • free southern belle coloring pages: Ya’ll, send those right over, please and thank you.  (This is me curtsying.  I also own a bonnet).
  • Grammar humor: what is my mind doing today.  All of a sudden two men with pocket watches in the slit of their vests, with spectacles resting at the hook of their nose are drinking tea and har-har-ing. (Har-har, dear, har-har: when used in a sentence).

Book News: