1. So, I always wondered why they never created a “Life Size Ken” when they made “Life Size Barbie” a thing, and Kelly Link has answered that question.
2. When you get a divorce, it’s best not to feed the iguanas.
3. “Summer People” make intricate do-it-yourself gifts, but they can’t be trusted with moonshine.
4. If a “Summer Person” gives you a handkerchief, assume that when you open it, it will be a flap tent full of delicate figurines.
5. Don’t meet men in online fantasy games.
6. Don’t meet what you think is a grown women in online fantasy games that could just be posing. AKA catfish.
7. Try not to schedule a dental convention and a superhero convention in the same hotel at the same time.
8. Butter makes a great sculptural tool.
9. You’ll never get over your ex-boyfriend if he’s a demon.
10. It’s best not to funk with ghosts. Especially when they take over inanimate objects. Particularly dolls.
11. Don’t take “Rich Girl” by Hall & Oates literally and ask your daddy to build you a full-functioning pyramid in case this life isn’t as good as the afterlife.
12. If your brother slept with your husband, he’ll probably sleep with the guy who tries to commit suicide in your tub.
13. Kelly Link makes less sense than Neil Gaiman, but her worlds would probably produce better novels if she pushed them that far.
14. Battery-operated boyfriends are boring.
15. Don’t get on any spaceship where a robot controls the scenery around you.
16. Don’t tell ghost stories on said spaceship.
17. You shouldn’t trust banjos on the river, or whittlers on the porch. It’s just, a fact of life.
18. In a Hurricane, you can either bury yourself under a mattress in the tub, or walk outside and find a new pocket world with sunflowers, and shine.
If you still don’t want to read this book, then you should feel very ashamed at this moment. In fact, so ashamed, that your palms are clammy, your lip is twitching, and you want to look anywhere, but at this screen.
19. Kelly Link proves in Get in Trouble that fantasy doesn’t have to be full of green science fiction globules and alien heads, and technological wizardry. Instead, it can be a simple unknowing, a slight twist on the real to become something fantastic, a Faberge egg that moves when touched by the right hands.