I recently discovered the tool that lets google and other search engines show your blog when people go traipsing about the internet. And it has yielded some fantastic results. As this is my personal news show, I decided to share these results with you. Please keep in mind what you’re seeing here are actual search terms by actual people (unless there really are robots using computers). However, no animals were used in the testing of these terms.
- Banksy Shark Fin – It’s amazing how many people get into graffiti when one man makes himself anonymous and sprays girls holding balloons. If you’re a badass like me and have had gang training you drive through highway tunnels and find yourself trying to guess the gang that goes with what symbol.
- The Great Barrier Reef Octopus Wallpaper – Octopuses genuinely creep me out. Ever since Little Mermaid and seeing a small one suction cup his morsels to the side of a dentist office tank, I’ve been living in fear. Plus, people in the Great Barrier Reef or who visit the Great Barrier Reef (like me, lucky, lucky) usually want pictures of sea turtles, or sharks.
- Short Cheers – I am not a cheer leader. I know, I know, my curly hair throws people off and they think, “oh, how perfect that hair would look in a too-high ponytail waving like a Brady Bunch sister in a cheerleading competition.” I do, however, like mega-horns.
- Many armed starfish – Is the sea creating an army? Also, is that why treasure hunters have found THIS in the Baltic Sea?
- Sharapova I’m blushing – I hope to the Dear Lord above that an thirteen year old boy typed this into google after seeing nudie pictures. In googling this myself, I came across this blog: http://howtodateboys.wordpress.com/
- What is the word for people who get sexually excited over bowel movements? – If you are dating this man, send him to that infamous video with those two women and their cup…and move on. This is my 21st century dating advice.
- My bare ass – no words. Well, maybe some…if your bare ass is on google, sweet bro.
- Yes, fist pump woman – This just makes me hope that somewhere in the world, there is a commercial with a woman screaming “Yes!” and fist-pumping…rather than the Herbal Essences commercials where women are saying yes and lathering themselves in shampoo.
- Japanese Fetish Clubs – I really have nothing to say for this. It’s probably my favorite one.
That is it for this weeks: Search Terms. Add a catchy song voice to it when you say it, ready, go: “Search Terms.” Like in that commercial where they go, “Dot Com.” I have already forgotten the rest.
Now onto the BOOK news:
- A Wrinkle in Time is turning 50! Ow, Ow! And this “geek mom” wants you to blog tour with her about it.
- World Book Night is coming in April and Picador wants you to help celebrate. Go here for details.
- Here is the official link for World Book Night so you can figure out how to do your part: www.us.worldbooknight.org
- Markus Zusak on how he became a writer. I imagine everyone is pretty obsessed with The Book Thief at this point, if you haven’t read it, may shame befall you.
- Blog on the title “Literary Fiction.” I just like when people go against the status quo.
- Flavorwire has posted 10 Legendary Bad Girls in Literature. As you know, my Sexton and my Plath both feature.
- Simon Garfield counts down his least favorite type fonts. The funny part is that everyone I know who is in an MFA program right now is freaking out about fonts. No one wants Calibri and everyone wants Serif. I say, write your poetry in whatever the heck makes you feel good. And for me that’s Georgia – it’s got that Southern twang to it. Plus, I write my rhymes by hand anyway.
- Finalists named for Jewish Literary Award. Last summer, Janice Eidus taught a Chautauqua workshop that I attended and her book War of the Rosens had won a prestigious Jewish Literary Award at that point. I just finished that book and I quite liked it. (That was just side information).
- Granta has letters from one young poet to another in their newest “New Writing.” This is one of my favorite literary magazines. Do, check it out.
- Jen at Litendeavors turned me on to these two articles. I think they’re lovely. The Throwaways & Night Shifts. (She always has the best book reviews, and Sunday Salon’s about books, so check her out).
- Found this awesome How-To at Cup-O-Joe on turning a Vintage Book into a journal. Sweet, dude. I recently just bought one from The Foundry, but maybe I should try making one next. If you do decide to do this project, blog about it and send me a link so I can share your fancy schmancy creation.
- Just a little NPR poetry sesh. You know I can’t stop myself from sharing.
- Jonathan Franzen speaks about the printed word at a book festival covered by the Los Angeles Times.
- And now you can dock your IPhone in a vintage book.
- Huffington Post outlines reasons that Indie Authors aren’t taken seriously. I, myself, have a really hard time reading Indie booksellers because I go into the story with a pessimistic attitude. Indie authors stand for the same things that I believe in, but for some reason I’m such a literary snob.
Recently, I finished two PRINT books with obvious technical errors (extra words, unreadable sentences) and it kind of shocked me. Are we so obsessed with the e-book culture that we have editor’s who slack on the printing, reading and editing of new, and profound literature? Does the e-book culture make people care less about the technicalities of a book and more about the font, since they feel it isn’t as serious as coming off a printing machine? I’ve already found two errors in Wildwood (the print version), my new favorite children’s book series and I’m only 167 pages in on the 500 and some page book. It’s just disappointing that not only is this happening in e-literature, but in print books now as well. Has e-literature just made this acceptable, period? I’m usually not an angry letter writer (although that would fit with my demure personality) but I think I’m going to have to write Harper Children’s for this one. As most of you know, Harper Perennial is like my dream Publisher. I would wipe toilet seats to work in that office. If a branch of Harper is going to have quick, technical errors like this in a huge, illustrated, and fantastic adventure story – how can I justify that they’re (fixed thanks to Claire, YAY)! my favorite publisher? Get your shit together, Harper. I know that sometimes errors slip by, but this is the second one in one book and just because it’s a children’s book doesn’t means it needs a less editorial stringent process. Adults read these books too, that’s why it says “9+” on it. (Mini-rant).
Everyone enjoy their Tuesdays, and regardless of error – pick up your copy of Wildwood today.