Jerry Maguire is on, Therefore This Blog is Nonsense.

I really planned on doing this earlier in the day, but I literally got up and drove around the block because of the boredom that has ensued since I returned from Puerto Rico.  And then I slept a little, because when I’m bored, I sleep.  And then I got to talk to one of my dearest friends, who’s in Newcastle, England via skype (and semi-planned a bit of my trip to see her)…AND THEN, Jerry Maguire is on, so this day has fully turned around.  Jerry Maguire is one of my absolute favorite movies (and I say this really hoping Chris has seen the movie because it’s football and love and then we can share it and watch it all the time.  “YOU complete ME.”

So, I promised to blog about everyday of Puerto Rico.   Sometimes, I regret these promises because I find that I didn’t write down enough of my witty thoughts while I was actually doing things.  For instance, I’m sure I had some really interesting things to say about the coldness of the water in El Yonque waterfalls, but now that’s all lost to me and I can only relate to you, that it was cold.  (This is coming from a girl who swam in March in outdoor pools for year round swimming in high school, and froze her little ass off.  Toes were purple in the process).  But this water may have even been colder than that, and I, unfortunately was a pansy and wouldn’t get my hair and/or boobs wet.   If you’re a girl, you know the boobs are the worst.  (I think my Aunt and I actually had that conversation while we tried to drowned our personal flotation devices into ocean.  Why is float, spelled with an a, but flotation is not)?

In Creative Writing classes through out my four years at State my professors often told me to delete the beginning of my stories where I was rambling and find where the story actually starts.

The story actually starts here…THAT, up there, was all ramble.

My second day in Puerto Rico, was definitely one to cross off the bucket list.  It was also a day of 9 hours in El Yonque Rain Forest.  I don’t know about you, but I get crabby and irritable if I’m not fed at regular intervals, if I’m stuck in the middle-back-seat of a car, and/or if I have to spend longer than I expect…anywhere.  This I presume to get from both of my parents, maybe they have this in common.  So, as much as I loved the rain forest, I also was ready to get out at the end of the day.  I don’t know how those scientists do it.

We started the day up the ridiculously narrow winding roads, while my mother gripped any handle she could reach in the vicinity of her seat in the car.  She had bought magazines so she could concentrate on those, but because she’s both claustrophobic and just naturally scared of winding roads, it wasn’t exactly a pretty ride.  Lucky us, we stopped halfway before she started screaming, or having a heart attack.  There was this really quaint little shack for local Puerto Rican food (local fruit and everything, I saw the fruit and vegetable garden down below the shop) and a few touristy products.  There was herds of animals around, okay maybe not herds, but a rooster, a cat, a chicken and a squaktastic bird.  Instead of the cat going immediately or at all for any of the above birds, she just graciously ate coconut (I guess cats in Puerto Rico have Puerto Rican tastes) and purred whenever any of us held her.  The following pictures ensued:

My cousin, Todd, clearly "chasing cock," as he put it.

(Hold on, they’re making out on Jerry Maguire).

Okay, we’re good.

My adorable mother holding the precious tourist-shop-coconut-eating kitten.

“She loves him, Laurel!”

Just an artsy-fartsy photo I took jutting out from the tourist shack. I kind of love the Rain Forest vines.

I’m not going to quote Jerry Maguire…wait, yes I am.

“How about a little integrity!….I’m sorry I’m just not as good at the insults as she is.”  – Get it girl! “You tell me to eat lima beans, I’ll eat lima beans.”

Good lord, I freakin’ love this movie.  It’s amazing, seriously if this miscellaneous blog full of all kinds of nonsense isn’t convincing you then what will?

Past the little coconut shack, we just drove straight into waterfalls.  I mean, we couldn’t find enough waterfalls.  The first place we drove through was actually quite amusing.  Katie, Todd and I decided to be adventurous and climb up through the rocks to get a good photo inside(ish) the waterfall.  And then of course the old women tagging along with us, were being stubborn and proud and thought that they’d do it, if we could do it.  So, my faksdflsd aged mother (she would kill me if I posted her real age) climbed her butt up on those rocks with two Jewish couples (that sounded like they were straight from the same town Fran the nanny is from) and posed for photos.  My mom has this thing where she waves to the camera in photos…or she looks like a 1980’s cheerleader (much like my hair-do writing this blog) and so most of the photos up on the rocks are of her and my Aunt Jan waving to the camera.  I’d put photos of this, but they aren’t really the best waterfall photos.  Well, maybe I’ll put up one or two.

Katie and I in the waterfall. Trying to act badass until the old Jewish men did the same thing, even higher.

They're thumbing up in this picture, but it's close enough to a wave.

After this, we did a really awesome hike through the rain forest.  In the rain forests in Australia (Kuranda; as seen in Avatar) we took an air lift above the rain forest and then managed to walk through a few board walks and see water falls from far away.  It was amazing, I mean you can’t discount a rain forest.  But in Puerto Rico, I assume they didn’t care as much about killing a little bit of the environment to make a sidewalk through the forest and so you were literally entrenched in the weeds, vines and snails of the forest.  I found leaves that made adorable, stylish hats.  Roots the color and shape of browning teeth.  One flower, and a few lizards (or really just lizard noises and the rustling of ground leaves).  I think my favorite part of the animal life in Puerto Rico is the “Coo-kee frog” because it sounds like it’s saying “cookie” all night and they’re all so small that people rarely catch them in their natural habitat.  We think we almost saw one, but it could have been a raindrop or something.

I’m going to bombard you with photos through the rain forest and let you experience it with me.  Maybe it’ll urge people to donate to its survival, or the World Wildlife Foundation or anything at all really.  Just donate a few of their dollars to a local cause or something.

My favorite photos of the beginning palm trees, imagine yourself peeling your fingers through those, they're like an instrument.

My mom's favorite leaves. I love how they're designed, such pronounced lines.

Tree roots, I'm obsessed with anything tree.

Amazing Amazing AMAZING inside swirls of a tree trunk

Tree root, with a little plant growing inside.

You know those beads that hung on the doorway to your room when you were in 8th grade. I want this to hang in my doorway now.

This is turning into more of a photo blog than of me saying anything of importance.  I think I’m too distracted by Jerry Maguire to even function as a writer right now.  I’m not sure how that’s humanly possible, but this movie really pulls at my heart strings.  When Tom Cruise wasn’t a crazy scientologist, the world was good.

Anyway, finally the winding path through the rain forest ended in the most beautiful waterfall swimming hole.  Katie and Todd and I obviously got in and we jumped around and made funny, laughing faces for the camera in the freezing cold of the water to make everyone jealous (who says I’m not honest on my blog).  All my pictures are to a.  get you to get up off your rump and see the world or b. make you jealous of my travels.   I think that’s the point of anyone’s pictures.  I mean the memories are going to be joyful as well, but let’s just put it out there why people have facebook at all, other than the connections of your 97234 real friends.

Okay, mini-rant finished.  Here are a few pictures of the last waterfall we swam in, I picniked one to make myself look less pale Irish.

Just playing in the waterfall. It took my 9 years to perfect this face in the mirror.

Just sitting in a small rabid spot.

That was pretty much the full blog of the rain forest.  I also ate some extra-mushy plantains and a not-so-good quesadilla in one of the National Park Restaurants.  If you thought Mexican food was like Puerto Rican food, you are sadly mistaken my friend.  I’m pretty sure I already said this in my other blog, so just know, it’s not the same at all.

Rod, just fell on Jerry Maguire so I’m absolutely about to cry.

I think that should probably be the end of this blog, seeing how I said nothing of importance pretty much the whole way through.  I’ll probably regret this blog later when graduate schools are reading it and trying to decide if I’m worth accepting.  But, who knows.  Another day, another blog. Hope you enjoy them, occasionally, if not all the time.  Even when I hardly make any sense.


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