The 101: How to pick your underwear for New Years

I realize that I have a been a bit schizo on my last few blogs, and not to mention whiny.  So, onto brighter news with the New Year.

Something that was substantially hard for my great dive into this 2011 (and therefore lucky) year was picking out New Years Eve underwear.  I mean, and I think I can say this safely and accurately, that you’re either 40+ and wear granny panties (unless you’re a cougar) or you’re 14&under and wear Fruit of the Loom.  All of us ladies on the in between, try to keep ourselves underwear-exciting, or maybe just I do.  Because you know when I put those lime green underwear on that say “Party Like a Rockstar” across my ass and have stars in the front, I’m definitely ready for the New Year.  However, I soon had a massive wedgie and was forced into sweat pants by the end of the night.   Sometimes, boy shorts (although adorable) should be reconsidered on the New Year.  It was a process, but I found the lime green knickers and I strolled through downtown in them.  It was actually perfect for the random dance break of “Cupid Shufflie” in the middle of Wilmington Street that both Nat and I joined.  So, needless to say, my New Years began with a group dance session, which truly makes me believe that I’m going to be on either Glee, or in a musical this coming year.  Don’t they say whatever you’re doing on New Years is what you’ll be doing all through the year?  Well HELLO CUPID SHUFFLE AND RANDOM DANCE BREAK!  Maybe my year will be like that scene in 500 Days of Summer where the male actor starts dancing along the streets, and cartoon birds are humming in his ears and he whacks a ball right out of the park while simultaneously performing perfect dance moves.  The options here, are endless.

I also filled myself up on Boston Creme, Krispy Kreme donuts during the new year (so I will be larger, and dancing).  Then, Nat and I bought one-hundred-year-old sparkling lemonade (that actually could be corked) and some Welch’s white grape juice (they were all out of Welch’s sparkling, I’m sure you can see where this is going) and we mixed the two to create our own semi-agape meal while listening to Jason Derulo, Mike Posner, and Avril Lavine.

New Years=Success.

Otherwise, I’ve been counting the days, and appointments (dentists, gyno, doctor) until I am kayaking through the rivers of Puerto Rico for the New Year.  What I won’t give to make time speed up so I can be back in the sun and the sand, maybe some flip-flops (except I left my two favorites in Australia, oops).  To make time go by just a tad quicker, I spent time with my big, wonderful, best friend, Seth Joyner today.  We discussed the following; how we’re snobs for wanting to get out of our 1. jobs (the job I don’t have that I’m already trying to get out of) and 2. Raleigh.  As Becky said, “We’ve seen the big picture (the world) and now we don’t want to go back to our small picture (Raleigh and it’s abundance of people we know from high school).”  We both want to travel, and drink fine wine, and learn languages that are drawn with lines instead of letters.

To make this worse, I’m reading Three Cups of Tea and it’s encouraging me to travel to the bitter ends of mountains (K2) in Pakistan, or India and make a life in a culture that doesn’t even yet have electricity.  We all know if it has tea, I’m there (maybe I could do without the goat milk, but I’m not sure I can be picky in this new life I’ve developed in my head.  Most people have fantasies about stars with sculpted abs, maybe even Fabio, and I’m fantasizing about cultures that boil brains, drink goat milk, and make fires from yak dung.  Man sometimes I don’t realize how much of a winner I actually am).  I’ve already determined the next two places on my list are Prague, … well three places, Machu Piccu and the Grand Canyon (preferably the Grand Canyon within twenty-eleven…or however you like to say it).

In order to make this all happen though, I guess I need a job.  Farting around Australia was much more fun.  And I can’t even get a job in the “Real Adult World” because I’ll be moving within six months wherever graduate school or traveling, or anything I want to do takes me.  (Dear God, please take me).  So, my options are waitress (even though I will punch someone out at any moment), non-profits (but I’m volunteering at the Literacy Council, and non-profits aren’t really hiring because they’re non-profits durrrr), receptionist (aka my old job, but more money) or something completely our of left field (which would be the preferable option I suppose).  If you’re reading this, and enjoying yourself, HIRE ME, I CAN BE LESS SPASTIC.

Lastly, I’m going to let you in on the inner workings of my mind by showing you the notepad that this blog idea originated from.  Clearly, I have strayed from the normal blog path, but here are my notes to myself.  They even have a hole for my pen/pencil.  It’s a pen that looks like a pencil, I’m really fond of it.

I doodle. Ya know, when I'm on the phone, or thinking, or just in general....like a seventh grade girl with gel pens

Colombe is apparently a word meaning a sign of peace. I don't think I got it on this one, but Seth told me it on the phone last night so I wrote it down. I love words.

One thought on “The 101: How to pick your underwear for New Years

  1. bea mannes says:

    Send this blog onto Skirt, they will love it there!, as I did here. Also, I never have an undie dilemma because I keep it to white grannie panties, no decisions to make, and no creepers either.

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