My 2011 Word (this was going to be about post Australia, but I'm not ready for that yet).

I’m currently watching Salt, where Angelina Jolie (no, she doesn’t play a man stealer, when I will get over this, probably never hah) plays a BADASS, possibly Russian spy.  Not sure quite yet, I won’t spoil it, but it’s damn good so far.  So, just a heads up.

Okay, December 20th, all two.5 days of it.  Presently, (well, one ish days ago on the plane) I was flipping through various languages of Eat Pray Love on my arm rest, movie, volume, and music adjuster.  I was thinking about how my poetry professor, Dorianne Laux, said one of her goals was to get published in one of those airplane seat magazines, on United it’s called Hemisphere.  I hope they publish poetry at some point, I mean unused sudoku was in there for heaven sakes.  And don’t you wonder about that?  How many people have sat in those seats and NOT done those Sudoku’s and then there’s selfish person like me who sits down, sees it’s not done on December 20th and does it…in pen, so no one else can.  Sometimes, when you’re already upset, little things like Sudoku doers of the world can make you feel like a horrible person.

I’ve already seen this movie, not exactly my favorite, but there’s one part where she’s learning Italian words and her tutor friend teaches her the word, “Attraversiamo” which means “let’s cross over.”  I can’t help but think this may have been my word for the last six months, and am literally living it now while crossing over the vast expanse of another world ocean, the Pacific.  In the movie scene, they all choose words for themselves and most people, I know, choose a word for going into the New Year.  My facebook friends have posted countless women’s inspirational websites on the word choosing process.  The last six months, “Let’s cross over” has meant many things to me. Don’t worry, I won’t list them out for you.

While mulling this all over in my head, I read my horoscope in the $8.20 Marie Claire that I bought before leaving Australia, waiting on delay.  And I honestly remember nothing of what it said (But I’m taking a look, hold on)….here’s the quote:

“Courage and power  take deep root in your character.  For every ending, you’ll be rewarded with amazing new beginnings.”

Of course, even though horoscopes probably mean nothing, this is what I needed to read.  After crying through any rare thought of hugging the people in Australia I love at the Sydney airport – I needed to know the beginnings are going to be just as good as the endings. Maybe in the middle of this new-year-old-place will be swell as well.  Although, I admit, as soon as I was in the car after arriving at the Sydney airport in July,  I was sobbing and exclaiming plans to leave “tomorrow, in a week, or by Thanksgiving” it gives no less merit to me not even wanting to leave at all by the end.  (I have homes inside of people, not inside of countries, at least that’s what I’ve learned through this).

That all being said, I think I found out through tears, burns, and bad magazine reading at the airports that my word for 2011 is going to be, dun dun dun duuuunnnn, rewarded.  While sometimes (blame Australia for this) I may seem elated and positive all day, everyday…truth be told I can dwell at the bar with a glass half enpty.  I’m jealous, obsessive, a bit manic (not like medication manic, just soul manic) and sometimes (ah!) I put people down around me to make myself feel better.  But why the hell should I continue any of that in 2011?  I can instead; think positively, search for jobs I want and will be happy at, love people near and far, and for that be rewarded.  And that’s what I want for 2011, a karmic reward for good behavior.  I think, and this is going to sound corny, in order to seek positive rewards in my own life, I will have to reflect positive rewards on others.  I plan to still make my 100 resolution list, coming up in just a second on this blog…, but it’s always helpful to have more words, (as a writer), and more resolutions, goals and lists.  (That would be the obsessive Capricorn in me).

So here goes nothing, quickly after Australia, I need goals, ideas, and things to fall back in love with in Raleigh (the first love I will earn back will be with Mexican food, I’m coming for you Senorita).

100 Resolutions

  1. Travel someplace you’ve never been before (not including PR).
  2. Continue to write snail mail.
  3. Give away clothes/shoes you don’t wear.
  4. Learn to/create a colorful quilt.
  5. Read 60 books (holy shit, writing it made it that much more terrifying).
  6. Cook dinner for my parents a total of ten times.
  7. Get a poem published.
  8. Write a poem on a subject completely foreign to me.
  9. Continue to blog twice a week.
  10. Volunteer with a non-profit.
  11. Do something alone, for yourself, outside of the house once a fortnight.
  12. Use the public library.
  13. Wear all the clothes in my closet.
  14. Take up swimming again (exercise will also cover this one).
  15. Support your friends in any and all creative venues, without taking refuge in jealousy.
  16. Find new ways to do eye make-up (last year I dealt with this hair I have).
  17. Make my bed everyday BEFORE my dad says anything.
  18. Continue to eat more fruits and vegetables.
  19. Write for, just write everyday, and not a journal, creatively.
  20. Go to a SEARCH closing.
  21. Volunteer for something at church.
  22. Drive the speed limit (I’ll never be able to succeed at this one I don’t think).
  23. Call more, text less.
  24. When you read for The Raleigh Review, don’t quit on people for having a typing error (give everyone one free error – wouldn’t want this to happen to you).
  25. Let go.
  26. Get a job you don’t hate.
  27. Create your own book, like sew it together.
  28. Create quilt headbands (you know what you mean).
  29. Repaint the tree on my bed post.
  30. Keep my room organized on a day-to-day basis.
  31. Not be so flaky.
  32. See Allie McCaslin.
  33. Keep my car clean.
  34. Get a short short published.
  35. Read all the poetry of Carolyn Forche.
  36. Read through my Post-ACT library booklist.
  37. Read the rest of the TOMORROW series.
  38. Do something for the environment (plant a tree in the backyard maybe).
  39. Grow my own plant (last year I kept one alive, now I’m going to focus on the whole growing process….I need luck for this, my thumb is the color of killing).
  40. Read the newspaper (aka keep up with current events so I can be well-informed).
  41. Eat a whole Moe’s burrito, or an ENTIRE plate of Mexican in one sitting.
  42. Go to Ashville with Nat and/or have a flaming Amy’s Burrito.
  43. SOMEHOW get to Abby while she’s still in Europe.
  44. Save more money than I spend in 2011.
  45. Create art out of a. recycled goods, b. flea market recycled goods, c. cheap antiques.
  46. Keep an agenda for an entire year.
  47. Floss.
  48. Spend a day in Duke Gardens.
  49. Take a road trip alone.
  50. Drive the Blue Ridge Parkway in the Fall.
  51. Give more than I receive in 2011.
  52. Go to Church at least twice a month.
  53. Learn to eat dinner out/see movies alone.
  54. Wear heels to class.
  55. Eat three solid meals a day, stop grazing.
  56. Fix something around my parents house.
  57. Help my mom out with cleaning house.
  58. Learn to appreciate classical music.
  59. See a play, somewhere.
  60. Don’t wake up past 10 am, daily.
  61. Write three poems in a form I’ve never written.
  62. Visit NCSU professors.
  63. Finish Flannery, by Brad Gooch (only the most attractive author out there).
  64. Stop bribing my nephew into photos with jelly bellies.
  65. Get my nephew to eat cheese, WHO DOESN’T LIKE CHEESE?! Other than lactose intolerant people.
  66. Join a bookclub? This may be pushing my reading life.
  67. Don’t text out of boredom.
  68. Go fishing.
  69. Sell five things on etsy.
  70. Don’t quit on anything, give it at least three tries.
  71. Keep off the six pounds you lost in Australia.
  72. Learn something new everyday.
  73. Wear every pair of earrings I’ve made.
  74. Organize my “stuff” in the garage.
  75. Use power tools to build something.
  76. Keep in contact with faraway friends better.
  77. Answer your phone.
  78. REALLY start collecting elephants from anywhere, and everywhere.
  79. Visit the Schiedler’s.
  80. Find some sort of Chinese food you like (so if ever in China).
  81. Throw a themed party.
  82. Win at trivia (first step, find a place to play trivia).
  83. Visit the scrap exchange in Durham (preferably with Jess).
  84. Create a “rejection letter” frame for all my literary rejections.
  85. Use 200 words I’ve never even heard of in stories and/or poems.
  86. Use a scientific name for a plant, animal and body part in a poem.
  87. Remove clothes from closet that don’t fit.
  88. Finish mom’s AMAZING Australia scrapbook.
  89. Wear a beret (stolen from last year’s list).
  90. Wear a giant bow headband (Lady Gaga style).
  91. Come up with a completely original Halloween costume.
  92. Write over 200 blogs.
  93. Make healthier choices.
  94. Organize my computer files (taken from last year’s list).
  95. Paint a doorknob, and/or other foreign objects.
  96. Get an A in the Wake Tech Poetry class.
  97. Visit that art shed in Greensboro from Poetry 2 years ago.
  98. Learn more French, how to write it.
  99. Be more positive (goes with my word).
  100. Jump at the chance to experience new things, every time.  (1 get out of jail free card for pure laziness).

2 thoughts on “My 2011 Word (this was going to be about post Australia, but I'm not ready for that yet).


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