My flights, we’re ridiculously….easy. The first one was only an hour, and I chewed many-a-piece of gum so my ears didn’t pop and make me deaf for the next few days. However, I did sit next to an unusually smiley Asian man, who is probably on some anime cartoon somewhere with a funny, mispronounced-by-me name. And, unfortunately for him, he had to listen to me gag for the last twenty minutes of that flight when I thought I was going to vomit everywhere. I guess you can say I’m a nervous flyer….
The next flight was worse because Air Canada spoiled me with their large televisions and choice movies, plus they had a bit of Larry David and Curb thrown in, so what’s not to love. United, not so much. There were no choices, no leg room, no large movies like I was finally that rich kid who watches movies in the back seat on road trips while my parents snooze off in the front. No, none of my fantasies experienced – just good ol’ economy class. I don’t really remember who sat next to me on this flight, because she slept most of the way and didn’t speak english. I do remember trying really hard to read her book in whatever language was her native tongue, but unfortunately … I got nothin’.
And finally, after one expensive Caesar salad and a damn good meatball sub for only 3.75 I sat awaiting my final flight to Sydney in San Francisco. THIS is where things heated up. I played guess the Australian with all the males in the room, if you don’t know this, you will now – Australian men are easy to find because they all wear the same flat, shoe laceless shoes, similar to the American “vans.” Plus they all have either Justin Bieber or Edward Cullen hair and usually wear their sunglasses at night. But, it’s almost always the shoes that definitely makes the country. Then the…european man (I’m guessing with him) sitting across from me signaled with his eyes (I read people) for me to play a game of people-watching with him. Every time, someone passed I would look them up and down, judge or not because I honestly was too tired to even make a proper first impression judgment, and then he would do the same and look up at me after. A smile, meant the person was something, who knows what, and a weird expression meant they were something else. I will never know how to analyze this game other then to play it, but you’ll know when you do, and you’ll know what the faces mean at that point.
If I seem like I’m talking in circles, or going insane, it’s because my jet lag is hitting me and I haven’t slept yet, even if it’s 508 am in North Carolina right now. I still have more to go.
I got to Sydney and it was raining, of course, story of my life. BUT, on the upside, there was a rainbow, which apparently Australians believe that Americans don’t see very often, maybe even never see and so they point it out pretty obsessively. I then, showered, and phoned my parents telling them I was okay (a girl’s got to do this, or her dad will spend the next full day pacing the living room and worrying). I showered, in especially hot water because this house is freezing and then got ready to go into the city. I didn’t really do much in the city except buy obnoxious postcards for friends and campers, eat French fries while fending off seagulls (last time one swooped me and sat on my head for a piece of pizza, so this is like a serious battle for food against the damn birds) and had a 50 cent ice cream cone. Yes, we have the dollar menu in America, but do we have 50 cent ice cream cones, I think not. BEAT THAT!
So, now I’m laying in bed with eye lids that are hanging down like sagging breasts on a retired red hat lady and wondering when sleep will hit me.
Did I mention, I sat next to a ginger who just finished ice climbing in Alaska and his dad was a doctor without borders? Oh, I didn’t…well it happened, and it was ridiculously fascinating. Now, he’s probably somewhere reading his Chinese law book and crossing out full paragraphs after only reading a sentence, because obviously he knows what’s going to be on his exam to get a law degree. Red heads are nuts, I know….because I am one, but we are always in full control.
And all I want to do right now is lose control in a dream, so come to me sweet slumber.