Barrel Monster

So what if when I went to Niagra Falls, all I could think about was sending the Barrel Monster down and having her, and her massive boobs, make it to the bottom and not shatter, but just float off into eternal bliss.  I guess some things hit you faster then others, and I don’t know about a lot of you, but graduating really hasn’t hit me yet.  I mean, I’m NCSU alumni.  When I wore that tank-top on the plane and people would ask me if I went to NCSU, I would answer yes.  But I don’t go there. I WENT there.

I’ve been trying to work on this post for the last three days because I don’t really know what to say.  I’m in NY where the pizza’s better, and teenage boys all look like my first ex-boyfriend, and cheerleaders of the local high school perform at small football field summer fairs, and i miss my boyfriend from watching PDA at the theme park all day, and I’m surrounded by bundles of family who all look like me and are from the same beautiful grandma and rebel grandpa as me.  It’s just…too much to write all in one post.

So. I guess I’ll talk about my family: red heads, freckles, & breeders.  My family is Irish and anyone can tell that by just walking up to our mini-family reunion at Evans Beach today.  We’re all pale, we all have some form of red hair, and we all have freckles.  But more importantly, our women are shaped like a “brick shit house,” my grandfather’s exact words.  We have women in one corner of the picnic area talking about how Shealy boobs are small, and on the other side my Uncle Gary saying how at least all the Shealy women have cute butts (which is true, if I do say so myself).  But one of the most significant things about Shealy women is that we have hips, massive hips for making babies, as my mom so delicately puts it and my Uncle Gary claims mine are the biggest, bigger even then grandma’s.  I’m going to take this as a compliment because my grandma was a hot little cookie and anything at all that I have that resembles her is a plus.  My family has children, upon children, upon children.  Generations of kids came out to Evans beach, from Great Grandparents to Great Great Grand children and so on.  My family can make kids and everyone has tons of siblings.  And even if we’re dysfunctional at times, we’re happy and loving and know that we’ll be there for one another.  THAT’s a family.  (It’s a plus that they can all cook like my grandma too, except me…I guess I didn’t get that gene).

I met people I’d never met before in my family today.  I also stepped into Lake Eerie (my mother says this is a real lake and Raleigh only has ponds).  You couldn’t really see the other side (which would be Canada) so I guess that’s why they call it a beach.

I found an opened turtle egg so somewhere out there I found the home of a baby swimming around in a lake that isn’t infested with BP gas (Thank God) and will keep this turtle safe.

I tried skipping rocks, which I feel is an art form, because it’s incredibly hard but awesome to watch and see if you’re around someone who knows how.  I plan on marrying a man who can skip rocks so that my boys can go down to the creek (crik) and skip rocks down there.  I bet they can pick up girls with those rock skipping skills.

And now, I’m going to go eat my first slice of NY pizza. It’s okay to be jealous! Have a good day :)


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