Author Archives: Cassie

“…using his sharpie tip writing, ‘I was here.”

Anis Mojgani

I, like a lot of beating-hearted teenagers, first fell in love with Anis Mojgani over Shake the Dust.  I wanted to “brush my shoulders off,” peel the wane of fluff from my legs and arms, let the old skin flake and shed so I could come back a chameleon, and “walk into it.”  I was a teenager then, or maybe I was in college.  Maybe I was a college teenager.

I needed someone to tell me that life wasn’t all lollipops and raindrops, but instead give me the real struggle of it.  It didn’t happen throughout my high school literature circuit so I began looking to poems somewhere between not getting out of bed for Pre-Calc and changing my major from religious studies to creative writing.  Somewhere on the in-between, probably lying in bed because I did that for most of my freshman year, I confused a perfect world with my world.  I thought when you made silly faces at boys in class, it wouldn’t lead to cheating on your back-home boyfriend.  I thought that people didn’t backstab each other, that they loved one another truly when they said, “this is a commitment.”  I believed my friends partook in recreational drug-use, but none of that back-shed-lab stuff.  I believed in the majority good, the hearts of the people I met and the friendly faces that passed me on the all-brick campus where I had my first writing lesson:  No one wants to hear about the good stuff, and no one wants to be entertained by something perfect.

“This is bullshit.”  I remember distinctly when Allison said this to my fiction workshop.

Why can’t we write about happiness.  Why does shit always have to be dark or go dark.  How does darkness just come, just show up on a doorstep and expect to be let in because what else can you possibly do when half the world is bearded in it.  There are forests of it, holes of it, religious movements dedicated to it, gangs of starships who have gone to its side and yet we expect to somehow fight it off and let the good triumph.  Always, always over evil.  What we forget is this binary.  This halfness of the world.  When we’ve had winter, we know spring is coming.  When we have light, we know the moon will skim the sky like a mini-skirt and leave us in the dark.  I wish there was a color for it, I wish I could say “leave us in the black” but that’s not even right.  It’s like a steeped gray.  It comes. Everytime.

Song From Under the River by Anis Mojgani

That’s what Anis Mojgani knows about the world.   When I saw his book of poetry, Songs from Under the River, years of poetry collected, up on NetGalley, my breath caught.  I may have spit up something I was drinking.  Here’s what I had been waiting for.  This selection of poetry, ending of course in one of my favorite slam poems ever, Shake the Dust.  Those who are not familiar, need to immediately watch the video.  It’s a poem that makes you want to pray, even if you’ve never believed in anything greater than yourself.  Then, you pray for yourself, you pray by yourself, you pray with yourself.  You fold your hands together like a little drummer boy and you lean your head towards your feet and you become humble to the words coming out of this man’s swollen mouth.  So full of words, it’s buoyant.

I thought Shake the Dust was his best.  I thought he gave it as a gift to the teenage world.  With all these hormones, all this carrying-on, all this switchback, where’s the poem for us.  It’s here in these words of half-God, half-growing pains.  That’s not it though,  Shake the Dust isn’t all he whispered into the darkness.  There’s so much more to Anis Mojgani as seen in Songs from Under the River.  It made me want to eat my ipad it was so delicious on my tongue.  I would read it into the ferns on my porch where a Robin has warmed eggs in the hanging pot of it.

Songs from Under the River is a fascinating collection of new-age poetry, slam-poetry and rambling.  I think sometimes it’s easy to consider rambling, poetry,  especially if it’s someone you respect as a poet, but it’s just not.  You can’t ramble your way through a poem.  Poetry is a thing that needs specific words.  That’s why I believe that once you reach poet status, you have reached the highest level of writing.  It’s just too hard to get perfect.  Your word choice has to be impeccable and even after you publish that 12-line, succinct, beautiful little capsule, you’ll find that one word that’s off.  A poem is one of the hardest things to get right.

National Poetry Month Poster 2013

I think Anis Mojgani has some definite winners in his collection with lines like:

Know this: my heart was too big or my body so I let it go.  And most days, this world has thinned me to the point where I am just another cloud forgetting another flock of swans — having shaved off so many of my corners that I have flet at home only in the shape of a ball, bending myself so far backwards that the song of my mother believed I was returning home.  But believe me when I tell you my soul somehow still squeezes into narrow spaces. – Closer

Cussing doesn’t come from a lack of vocabulary–I know all the other words.  None of them speak the same language that my fucking heart does. – On the day his son was born the astronomer screamed out his window

Come Closer – Anis Mojgani

(5) I was never a broken man/but I too know how to pick the pieces/ up.  Some days the pieces are all teeth/ pulled from the mouths of children.  Some days they are simply books/ searching for a shelf.  (6) I have carved shelves out of my heart/ to try and bring an order to things. All/ it did was make space.

(10) Some ladies’ legs are shaped like/ confessionals/ and some confessionals are built like/ the bows of burning boats.  Speaking/ through both my body caught fire like/ everything else. – 17 books

All the flowers have the same name.  They all grow in the direction of her mother’s house. – Love is Not a Science

A Paixão Segundo N.A.B. | via Tumblr auf We Heart It.

Sometimes he does fall into the category of unedited.  Sometimes you want something to be a poem so badly, and yet it’s just not there yet.  I think his poems didn’t make sense because they weren’t edited correctly.  It’s a myth that poetry isn’t supposed to make sense.  Poetry should make sense in the deepest recesses of your soul, even if it’s so specifically your story and your experience, it should matter to the world.  That’s why poetry works, it takes the most true happening of one person and makes it general, worldly, international.  My favorite poetryism is from Joe Millar.  Joe says when you go to the poetry store, you don’t look for these inflated academic words like however, rudimentary, reveal, assessed, constructed, objective, but words like hairbrush, vein, dogwood bud, wet, chalk.  There are other words the poetry bookstore doesn’t sell: love, hate, mad, angry, sentimental, because in poetry you’re supposed to make us feel those words.  It’s the great fictionism: show don’t tell, but in even tighter detail.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t inspired by this book and I would be lying if I said every poem in it is perfect.  There is some unbreakable writing in this book, lines that I want to etch into a tree.  (Line from Anis: “but the initials carved that break the trunk open the tree flaunting its body”).

There were moments when I almost cried because something he wrote on the page was so beautiful that it hurt and helped at the same time.  However, some things could be parred down, some poems could be taken from the mind and then worked into real things that live on the page, instead of a reader just being confused at what Anis thinks about during his writing hours.  It’s an honest collection of poems and it’s for the individual with secrets; both filled with anger and just quiet little ones that we haven’t found a way to give up yet, or speak up.

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Sometimes, as writers, we look at something and say, yes, this makes perfect sense.  This is exactly how you would describe a…fist fight, or a break-up, or a wedding.  And then, when the reader gets to the page, it’s just a swan’s feather, or the gully of the Grand Canyon, or just something that makes no sense to anyone else.  It’s frustrating and is really just a call-out for better editing and more early morning writing sessions.  I’m not knocking Mojgani by any means because he is impeccable and he made a writing career from a college dorm room.

I encourage everyone to live a moment in the church of themselves, that small sanctuary we keep just below our rib cage and just above our stomach and read this poetry collection.  Spend time in the river water, don’t just dip your toes in, touch the bottom with your flattened palm.

Here is my new favorite slam poem of the moment:


Newsday Tuesday

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Favorite Tweets:

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Favorite Search Terms:

  • lumberjack valentine: Somewhere out in the interwebs, there’s a girl who’s dating an alligator wrestler, or an Olympic weight-lifting champion, or a lumberjack.  The lumberjack’s girl wears plaid in her freetime and smells distinctly of burnt wood.
  • dress up poison ivy what every decision do you suggest any kids to do in nc is everything: I’m not sure this makes any sense at all, but thank you for using the google machine to write your life story, or a Halloween drunken memory.  Not quite sure which.
  • irish gypsies in south carolina: Is there a caravan park for this? I’d like to join the travelers.

Book News:


This is Not a Nice Review.

The Unchangeable Spots of Leopards by Kristopher Jansma

I abhor this book.  The only reason abhor isn’t in capitals is because I want you to know the quiet rage I feel towards the man who wrote this and the pretentious, gimmicky nonsense that this book became by the end.  If you don’t want to read a review filled with spewing rants, please just stop reading now.

The only reason another human being should pick up this book is to see a book within a book, or as an April Fool’s joke.  Give this one to someone you detest and tell them to live like the princess.  This is every experimental novel gone wrong.  You should not take me on a journey to every country under the sun just because your narrator can’t figure out who he is.   The travel throughout this book wasn’t justified at all.  It’s as if the author needed a reason to move this lonely boy throughout the world.

He must have thought, Hm, I’d like to write about Dubai, let me take him there next.  I know, he’ll have a student who offers him a delightful teaching professorship.  No, just no, Kristopher Jansma.  I know I’m a literature snob, and I loathed Goon Squad which everyone and their mother, including the Pulitzer committee adored, but seriously, is this what fiction is coming to?  Should I expect books that have no follow-through in the narrative.   Are there not expectations that a book has a solid cause and effect cycle even if I don’t agree with the cause and effect of it all (i.e. Harry Potter living in the final book)?  In Goon Squad, forty pages of powerpoint is not writing, that’s called forty pages of a powerpoint presentation, something I do infrequently for my students and I don’t want an author to do to me.  In The Unchangeable Spots of Leopards, two-hundred pages of just-so-so literary development isn’t enough to enhance the dangling characters.

While the characters are interesting and I find them somewhat tempting to read about it, they are filled with potholes of cliche. Puddles of cliche.  Mind-bombs of cliche.  Of course, Anton is a complete brown recluse of a writer hiding out in Iceland typing away a novel without any punctuation.  Until our author can quit a love that was never there to begin with, he can’t write his novel.  Why at the end, do we have to tie it all up with a nice little bow?  This boy from Airport Wing A writing a novel about all the experiences he has traveling on flights that his mother was once a hostess and inevitably used as a method to meet men and make her son.  I get the full circle, it didn’t need to be shoved in my face.  I also really didn’t appreciate the gimmick of having the book we’re reading be the book that the editor finds at the end and obviously publishes.  Whoever on Goodreads said this was such a new way of doing things, where have you been? Authors have been doing this for ages.  The book begins and ends and we discover, oh gee, that the book we’re reading was the book he was writing.  I wasn’t born yesterday, Jansma.

Of course, the unnamed main character finds his dream at the end and leaves it on the very table where he began the tale of losing his novels.  I wasn’t aware we needed that lovely little bow tied up at the end of our story.  I thought Eat, Pray, Love did enough of that.    Shoelace-perfect books are for girls who love when the princess falls for the prince and goes off into the sunset.  NOT for girls like me who think the princess has gone off to clean the kitchen of her throned prince.  We aren’t told what the princess does after marriage because of this: we make our own ideas, as readers, we’re a reliable sort.  We learn to read between the cracks that the author left.   In literary fiction, we don’t like these bows.  We want the gore and the pain and the raw affirmation that life is poetic, but hard as shit.

So… I’m sorry I’m the only one that feels this way, but absolutely not.  You may not gimmick your way into the literary folds of this universe.  I don’t care how many experiments you play on your reader, how many countries you don’t describe but somehow we end up in, or how many depressing conversations and drugs your characters take, I will never appreciate a book that can’t even take itself seriously.  How do you expect me to suspend relief through continents, narrative lines that are drug out, but never truly meaningful, and relationships that are painfully fake.  You can’t possibly expect me to just accept and hang on these experiments and cliches, right?

I am disappointed, sir.

Story of my life. Not for this book.

Side Note: The lovely and wonderful people at Penguin sent me this book as an advanced reader’s copy.  I will say that this is the first ARC I really did not adore by Penguin.  They usually send me fantastic literary ditties. I will never write a review just to get more advanced reader’s copies or to please the people at the top.  You will always get my most pure and honest thoughts.  It remains your choice whether you read this one or not and this is the opinion of a young adult woman who read this book while being rained-in on a camping trip.  Goodreads features other opinions here.

GIVEAWAY! The lovely people at Penguin also gave me the opportunity to have my first giveaway on my blog.  In honor of the new paperback cover of Glow by Jessica Maria Tuccelli, one of my readers will receive a free copy.  *SCREAMS OF GLEE*

To win the free copy, you must find a poem that uses the word “glow.”   I want to highlight some poetry for National Poetry Month.  The first reader to do this will win the free copy from Penguin.  Now, go on a poetry hunt!


Tell the Truth, but Tell it Slant.

The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien

I first came across The Things They Carried in a fiction class at NC State University.  While on book tour, Jill McCorkle had assigned us the title story for homework.  I read it thinking people can’t write fiction by writing lists.  As an avid list-maker at my ripe old age of twenty-five, this was a harsh critique I made.  I generalized war.  Having read the title story, I assumed that I had completed the book and didn’t have any other purpose of reading some hopeless war stories.  Some hopeless war stories, who do I think I am?  Truth is, I’m America.

Newspaper

We sit on subways, drive our cars with radio buzzing, read the newspaper, eat our bagels and our grits in the morning.  My mother oozes over the Newspaper, reads every word, every caption, sends me the uplifting pieces, cut-out haphazardly, by mail.   She might whisper, “oh, that’s awful” under her breath while my dad coats his cereal in blueberries and slices through a strawberry until the knife is just noting his finger.  I read these things about another seven soldiers killed by roadside bombs in Afghanistan or a tour guide who stepped on a field explosive and is living with one leg.  I don’t think about them afterwards unless I’m lying awake at night.  I don’t think about the burning feeling in the legs of soldiers who have walked miles and then are killed in a hum.  I might think about the mothers because those are people I know.  I know a mother, I know a sister waiting on a letter, a girlfriend waiting for a boy to return with a stiff cap and a smile that hides every single thing he just lived through, lived. through.

Rice Paddies in Vietnam

When I think about war, I just think about women sitting on balconies staring off into wheat fields waiting on men with coal faces to come humbly up the drive.  I think of gravel and dirt.  I think of Rosie the Riveter, more her headgear than her symbolism.  I don’t think about actual men fighting a war.  In fact, I’m not sure until I read this book that I had the capacity to think about much more than widows, letter-writing and the “pretty” of the Civil War.  When I think of war, I think of the Civil War because I live in the South.  I’m not sure why this is.  It’s like the South engrains that war into your head from a young age.  You see the ignorance of the rebel flag on the backs of muddin’ trucks.  It’s one of those “gotta live there things.”

This isn’t war.  Cassie’s head doesn’t always filter things together correctly.  War isn’t a pretty girl in a long dress writing a letter to Dear John on her porch.  It isn’t coaled-face men, sweaty men, men who have no history.

Baggage @ Tumblr

Tim O’Brien opened me up to my own history and my own small idea of the world with his book The Things They Carried.  And let me tell you, they carried a lot.  Girlfriends always joke that they have too much baggage for a new relationship, but this is not trivial.  In Vietnam, they carried letters (like I thought) to girls with Volleyball thighs, they carried guns that I can’t spell the name of, high school graduations, ideas about fleeing to Canada, pantyhose from their woman’s sock drawer, their father’s homemade Christmas cookies, the soaking smell of rice paddies, poetry, regret, the weight of their muscles, the heat and tension of no parades, no welcome, no cheer.  They carry this idea that they could die and that would be alright, or lonely, but not heartbreaking.

“They carried all the emotional baggage of men who might die.  Grief, terror, love, longing–these were intangibles, but the intangibles had their own mass and specific gravity, they had tangible weight.  They carried shameful memories.  They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained, the instinct to run or freeze or hide, and in many respects, that was the heaviest burden of all, for it could never be put down, it required perfect balance and perfect posture.”

I think just the title story is a testament to Tim O’Brien’s writing, but I’m not sure I can say I’m a real reader if I hadn’t read the entire book.  I’m not sure I could say I even had a glimmer of war knowledge if I hadn’t read the entire book.  Here I am teaching my students about WWII and I know nothing about the feelings of men in a foreign country lying together in the squeezed darkness, hearing music that doesn’t mellow, but explodes.

I don’t think I’m getting at the heart of this.

Letter @ Tumblr

This was one of the best books I’ve ever read.  I’m tired, I was on vacation, I was riding bikes along the restored shore of Bald Head Island.  Lounging in the sun after riding a golf cart 16 miles per hour down a hill.  There were chapels, and sunrise services, old men in penny loafers with golf bags slung over their shoulder and all I wanted to do was open the next page of The Things They Carried and walk into the sludge of Vietnam with Tim O’Brien.  I wanted to smell like shit, but feel it.  Sometimes in a world where everything is okay and beautiful, you need to read horror and misunderstanding to be able to feel it.  Don’t people always say, no one would like to read a happy story?  If all you’re living is a happy story, you’re doing it wrong.

I think this book touches the reader at the most tender moments.  At one point, a baby buffalo is brutally killed.  It’s strange how much those three paragraphs brought to life Vietnam for me.  I tell my students all the time about desensitization and effects of imprisonment, but this really sealed that for me.  Vietnam was a type of prison for these men.  Not only are the almost-memories,  in this book extraordinarily well-written, but the way it’s told is phenomenal.  At one point, there are notes about the soldier in one of the stories.  I was shocked at how true and not true the story was all at once.  Tim O’Brien says he told the story that way because the lie impacts more than the truth.  This is the truth, but it’s slant.  Tell the truth, tell it slant.  I heard that so many times in writing workshops.  This is both a war story and a love story, but it’s also stories about how to write stories.

You can tell a true war story if you just keep telling it.

Often in a true war story there is not even a point, or else the point doesn’t hit you until twenty years later, in your sleep, and you wake up and shake your wife and start telling the story to her, except when you get to the end you’ve forgotten the point again.  

It’s hard to believe in a story that doesn’t place you at the heart of the matter.  I cried over Kiowa, over his sunken boot and mud face.  I cried over Ted Lavender over and over because he kept appearing and then disappearing.  He kept dying, it kept repeating itself and blowing over until it was time for that memory to resurface.  The way this book is told is the way we remember.  I know my grandfather is dead, but I only think about it sometimes.  It resurfaces, it hurts the same every time, a thump of hurt just below my ribs in my not-quite stomach, a cramp of hurt.

Crying @ Tumblr

I understand why people write stories because of this book.  It isn’t because they have this deep need to write, it’s to write that girl they knew in fourth grade, but still cover her up at the same time.  You know, the writer, that she’s that girl in fourth grade with one crooked tooth and a monstrous yell when she ran across the bridge of the playground, but to your reader, she’s Karen, many years later, still crooked tooth, a bit of a snaggle at this point, and the yell is at her husband in the folds of their home together.  This is why people write, we can hide ourselves in the pages, but tell the truth.  We can be our whole selves in the halves of it.  Tim O’Brien gets this,  Tim O’Brien writes for the girls on vacation, the girls with chubby thighs and bike rides, the girls in high school who whisper their feelings into their pillows and dance when they get home before the rest of their family.  Just because their war stories, doesn’t mean they’re not our stories.

“In Airborne strike last week Vietnamese scramble for American H-21 helicopters landing to ferry them into action near Saigon. The two-day action was successful.”

How does a girl in North Carolina cry over a passage written about a group of men with shells in their pockets and grenade tips in their teeth?  I’m not even a girl who typically reads the true grit of war story.  I’m a girl who reads about everything surrounding a war.  Women crying into their vanities, girls not allowed to go to school for fear of gun blasts, couples in hiding, farmers giving their rotting vegetables to passerby’s, and every store is out of grocery, there is no milk, rations come in boxes.  Folded inside a small envelope is everything your family is able to eat that month, four mouths to feed and one tugging at your skirt, dirt under his fingernails, bare-feet in the burnt grass.  This is the war I know, everyone else’s imagination of war.  Not the actual war.  Not men in fatigues and helmets.  Not grime, or wounds, or how it takes three packages and nine men to deliver a Kellogg’s box to the front.  Not how killing a baby buffalo creates puffs of gun smoke that crack the ground open and lets it fester.


#5. Creating Custom Gifts For Holidays

Ya’ll, seriously, my life is in bloom.

I wanted to show you how I covered # 5 on my Self-Promise List.  I spent time with my family for my mother’s birthday.  As you can see my nephew was making beautiful water glass music using his spooned fist.  As I type this, I’m surrounded by azalea bushes that are beginning to bud and pink.  I couldn’t help and try something creative tonight and with eggs, no doubt.  This is my first-year blowing out the egg goo and painting shells instead of dunking them into dye.  I got a tutorial on alisaburke.blogspot.com.  She’s a spectacular blogging artist who has all kinds of egg design techniques featured here.

A few years ago I felt like I wasn’t doing enough because I wasn’t traveling the world.  All of my friends were going to these fabulous places, learning all new languages, posting pictures of buildings older than any civilization today and I couldn’t be anything but jealous.  Instead of being happy for these lovely and daring friends of mine, I was a bitter belly.  Luckily, at 25, I look at these pictures and think my life couldn’t be any better.  Thanks for being a part of that on this blog. : ) Happy Thursday Night and Spring Break!

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Yes, that is a James Joyce mug. I picked wisely when getting coffee at brunch.
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My nephew is better at my phone games than I am and my mother is the most beautiful woman I know.

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Needle ball in the azaleas.  
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I have this tree in my yard without the slightest clue of what it is.  I’m obsessed with it’s flowering pattern.  Any biologists or gardeners that want to help me out?
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I know this looks like a first grader created it, but it was fun while it lasted folks. 
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I tried branching out on my own creative genius and it worked. 
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I call this: Pin-up Pantyhose Easter Egg.  
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Newsday Tuesday

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Favorite Tweets:

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Search Terms:

  • proofreading marks for broken character: This is the title of some grammarian’s poem, in some desk, in the middle of Utah.
  • i love reading books because:  it’s better than eating junk food, on the couch, watching bad reality television and plastic Barbie women. Best I could do at the moment. #currentlywatchingthevoice #sorrynotsorry
  • sonographic studies in lettering bold: It’s like you’re speaking German.

Book News:


“Rock Me Mama Like a Wagon Wheel”

Rusted Gas Station

I’ve lived in North Carolina since I was five years old.  When we moved into our cookie-cutter neighborhood (where my parents still live today) there were cows grazing on a hill over the backroad of Strickland.  A rusted gas-station awning tipped on its axis and this is how I saw the world.  There were Texaco pumps still bleeding red and blue dumped in the weeds near the entrance.  Someone had cracked the door so the darkness lied.  My brother claims to have tried to explore it once, peeked in the windows on a late night scavenger hunt.  He told me condensed milk cans still sat on the shelf, their white wrap peeling.  Light still filtered in and saw dust covered the torn floor.  It would have been great for some photographer to come around and show the world Carolina in the rust.  Our house has always been two hours to the closest beach and two to the closest mountain.  You can cough and hear country music.  Boys look straight-faced at the girls in the seat next to them, smell the flowers on their neck, speed up for the thrill.  Girls scream, brush the wisps of their hair from their face, from sticking to their date-pink lip gloss.  Couples eat custard and spill barbecue.

Nothing Gold Can Stay by Ron Rash

One of my goals for this year was to read more Carolina literature.  Whether it be the Southern or Northern State, I wanted to read more about my hometown.  This month I read, Nothing Gold Can Stay by Ron Rash, and Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison.  Nothing Gold Can Stay is a short story collection about Appalachia and it switches between the past and the present.  I bought it because I listened to Ron Rash on Weekend Edition.  He made this amazing comment to the host about how he finds inspiration for his stories.

SIMON: How does a short story idea come into you?

RASH: Very often, they’re not ideas at all. I actually start sometimes with a voice, usually an image, an image that won’t leave me alone and I have to find out where that image will lead me.

SIMON: Can you give us a for instance?

RASH: Well, in “The Trustee,” the first story in the book, I had an image of a trustee, a prisoner, in the 19 – it was early 20th century, who was walking down the road with a bucket in his hand. I didn’t know where he was going or who he would meet but I knew I wanted to follow him.

The Trustee is a member of a chain gang who frees himself with a pail of water.  I loved the way that Rash played with the idea of trust. This man was trusted by the guards to walk miles to find a water spout on the neighboring farms, but too trusting when it comes to the outside world.  It’s this great balance between honesty and fear.  I think as human beings we’re constantly on this pendulum between the two things.  Earlier, I had a conversation with a good friend who said, “A guy will smile at a girl and think, she’s pretty, I should smile.  A girl will see a boy smile and plan their whole life together in a minute.”  This is so true and so true of the Southern girl mentality.  We live the fantasy.  How perfect would he look in a tie, will he carry our child on his shoulders, how great will his arm hair look in the sun with a tan.  It’s this disgusting little ritual we’ve concocted in our mind.  My good friend was in the process of composing a facebook message to her crush that was witty and adorable, but obsessive.  She’s living the balance of being honest and true to herself, but having to deal with the fear of the boy not loving that truth.  Oh, relationships, will we ever understand you?

@ Tumblr Image

Ron Rash plays a lot with this idea of honesty and fear.  Do we be golden, shine true, or do we give pieces of ourselves?  Obviously, the only person who is going to know the whole you is you.  No one is ever going to know you like you.  The characters in Rash’s stories really understand this and play with the idea of bringing their wholeness to the world.  What if instead of thinking of throwing a drink, I just threw one?  It’s fun to make your characters live out things that you were too scared to do in your own life.  My favorite story in this book was about a woman who found herself behind the safety glass of a radio booth.  Known as the Night Hawk she would play music for the sleepless, the all-nighters, the college students hunched over their chemistry textbooks, the drunks on late-night donut runs, the women unable to sleep over their pillow of worries, and those that just want to listen in the dark because they can’t listen in the day.  It’s one of the most beautiful and intricate stories out there.

Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison

In Bastard Out of Carolina, Dorothy Allison just lets her characters go for it.  Ruth Anne, nicknamed Bone, lives on the edge of being another crazy Boatwright woman, and being herself.  It’s the same honesty and fear question.  Do I live with the strength of my mother and grandmother or do I falter into my own shyness?  Do I scream or not scream?  Do I give my heart to the dry hands of another or hoard it for myself?  It tells the story of a world that sometimes isn’t able to look at its own darkness.  I thought for sure by the end that Bone had experienced all the hurt she was going to experience by thirteen and in the last twenty pages, I got eaten alive.  It was painful and incredibly slow-moving.   It’s like watching something that you know is happening very quickly, a car crash maybe, and yet you watch the glass crack, split, fly.  Bone is every girl who’s ever been scraped clean by a man, and so are her aunts and her mother.  She bares the question, do we make the same mistakes that our mother’s made and our grandmother’s before our mothers?  Do we carry on the traditions that are beautiful and the traditions that burn?  I’m not sure at this point in my life, but I rely heavily on the strength that the women in my life carried throughout their trauma and tell myself that’s the legacy I’ll carry through.  My daughter won’t be called pretty, she’ll be called brave.

Quote @ Tumblr

Both of these books were slow, but slow in the Southern way.  If you’ve ever been to a grocery store in the South, you know we ponder, we make lists, we huddle, we stop and chat.  There ain’t no Southern lady on this planet who doesn’t spend an extra ten minutes in church just to hear the gossip.  Preacher’s outside shaking hands and women are leaning over pews, touching bonnets in conversation.  This is the South, this is my home.

It’s my Three Year Bloggiversary and in honor of that, I wanted to share some of my own writing about the South.  I hardly ever, if ever (this may be the first time) share my outside writing on my blog and so I thought it might be nice for just this once to share that little piece of myself.  Honest and fear, people, honesty and fear.  Before I do though, A Small Press Life is doing a bi-weekly blog called [R]evolving Incarnations: A Questionnaire for Passionate Readers and I am the reader this week, so go over and check that out here.  Her blog is wonderful and timeless.  Here goes nothing…

“He carried eggs in a basket to the house next door. Had polished them with a wet hankerchief before delivering them to the doorstep.  His mother put a stained wash cloth over the top to keep them warm after boil. They didn’t crack on the way. They huddled together like live chicks would in the cold. His scarf was caught in the wind and as he tightened it, it only flew more.  A runaway kite of neck scarf.  The eyes of the sky were out, it was early morning and the birds were slightly twinkling, cooing in the stiff air, watching frost crush green.

She was sitting like widows do with everything resting on their elbow. The glass was warming, her breath creating fog circles in the panels. He placed the basket on the top step, stared at the door and stuck his hands in his jean pockets.  She saw his hands, rosy with cold before he shoved them in, stepped back, and stared at the knocker, breathing smoke like almost-words.”


Newsday Tuesday

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Favorite Tweets:

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Favorite Search Terms:

  • to kill a mockingbird street project: This isn’t real, I googled it.  I got really excited.  You know how you can get your graffiti artist students to read, let them graffiti the books.
  • princess bell curly hair: Unfortunately, Belle only had a slight wave and wore her hair mostly in a ribbon. Don’t fool yourself, the wardrobe had a side job holding a curling iron.  I can tell.  You can always tell.  Naturally curly-haired girls always have one straight piece.  It’s like our birth mark.
  • roses are red violets are blue this kafka book is just for you:  A library needs this on a shelf filled with Kafka.
  • holy mary tattoo: Is it bad that I read this like a comic book BAM!  HOLY MARY! Tattoo.

Book News:


Parade of Presents | A Very Bookish Patty!

With my reddish gold hair and alabaster skin, it’s no surprise that I hate baked potatoes.  I’m one of THOSE Irish.  My mom says they wouldn’t even claim me today.  My ancestors had a famine over those spuds and yet, nothing but the occasional mash.  Therefore, like Valentine’s that comes before him, St. Patrick deserves his day of luck and clover.

For the Classy Clover

Classy

For the Cassie’s of the World

Cassie's Irish Picks

Cassie’s Irish Picks

For the Sexy Shamrock

Green

When You Read….You Eat…Irish Treats Edition

Foodie


“Her World Was Narrowed Down to What She Leaves Behind”

The Sea, Menacing Thing.

I’m normally not a fan of nature poetry.  I actually (dare I say it) poo-poo’ed Merwin’s last book because it was so….sunset and evergreens.   Just take a moment and think about how many descriptions of the sea you’ve actually read.  Here’s a brief history of sea literature compiled by yours truly off the top of my curly head:  Moby Dick, The Odyssey, Old Man and the Sea, Lord Jim, Treasure Island, Lord of the Flies, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Little Mermaid, Jaws, etc.  If I missed one of your particular favorites, feel free to leave suggestions in the comment box.  We can win a Guinness for sea literature.

(I’m still really regretting that Merwin comment.  If it’s here when I post this blog, don’t bring out the stakes please.  I know that Billy Collins and Merwin are the “poets of America” these days, popping up in chain bookstores, and being read out in church, but please, don’t burn down the castle.  I’m one opinion).

The Messenger by Stephanie Pippin

I requested Stephanie Pippin’s book on NetGalley because it had birds on the cover.  I’m such a stereotype.

I didn’t see that it was a predatory relationship until I had the cover beautifully displayed in front of me.  There is feather debris along the side, spread hawk wing above, two lovely feather spears in the death grip of the hawk and a turned over beauty with alfalfa hair.  PERSONIFICATION.  It’s actually a gorgeous cover for a poetry book.

And there are gorgeous words inside.  I’m so happy I requested this book.  In fact, I would feel awful if I somehow found it and didn’t get the honor to request it.  It’s the kind of book you should request, a royal book, a gift of a book, a book you open and then feel yourself instinctually tied to.  It was here where I was gripped:

“At night I am cut free.  I confuse myself with birds.”

The rest is history, as they say.  I have two full pages of quotes from this book.  She describes animals in the way they’re supposed to be seen.  Not as objects, but as living, “heavy, alive, warm globes breathing in their shells.”  It’s beautiful.  I was never so taken with a deer until I read the passages about their grazing in an open forest.  It was a cinematic approach to poetry.  The way you see the flies buzz just above the rib cage of road kill.  Animals stranded as outliers in a world they began.

In this interview, Pippin talks about how she came to know animals from the inside out.  Working at a bird sanctuary she was forced to gut animals for feeding.  Birds, we forget, are predators.  Crows stalk fields of corn, and are farmer’s worst enemies and yet they have sharp eyes as if they’re brothers to the raven, worth writing a poem about, worth the beat of the heart under the floorboards in Poe’s cottage.

Bird Anatomy @ Psyche Pirate

I’ve never forgotten what birds are.  Somehow, what dinosaurs are for normal people, birds have become for me.  I feel this intrinsic tie to them.  Their freedom alludes me, I teach it to my 9th graders, the symbolism of birds to every culture (recently, the “slave culture.”)  The reason we sing of birds in gospel choir, the reason Noah uses birds to check that the world has not drowned.  Birds were the ones that sought out the rainbow, the promise.  This book isn’t just about birds though, it’s about the nature of our world and how we forget the intersection between us and it.  It’s so commonly referred to “man v. nature” lately.  So many natural disasters hitting too close to home.  Salvage the Bones is a great piece of literature on Katrina if you haven’t read it.  Then, we hurricanes pushing boats into garages in New York and Rhode Island.  The homes of people filled to the brim with water, washed out photographs and soaking couch cushions.  Light bulbs floating in the second floor.  I don’t know if we’ve become fearful of nature, but we’ve definitely become enemies.  Even poor Mother Nature in those tampon commercials.

“This is the lesson of grief, to listen to the chorus at the water’s edge, to read the black weight of abandoned nests.”

Deer & Honeysuckle @ K G Swaim

My mother walks for this.  She goes out into the winter air, crisp through the peep holes of her gloves and waits for the sounds of nature.  Unlike the rest of the hyperactive world, my mother doesn’t use headphones.  She’ll walk at almost any time of day.  She walks because “cleanliness is next to godliness” because she knows in the whole of nature is the whole of herself.  My mother is the person who finds the one red flower in the thatch of pointed green bushes.  She’ll cup an empty bird’s nest in her hands and save it for me on our dining room table.  She picks up cracked robin’s eggs with two dainty fingers and whispers at the broken treasure.  It’s incredible to watch my mother in nature.  Her cheeks blush red and she’s alive.

“Deer/graze the forest.  Now the trees.  They would speak.  They have a stench like standing water.  In the forest nothing moves but oak/branches.”

This line made me want to say, “of course trees smell like standing water.”  That’s the perfect description.  And honeysuckles smell like my childhood when we would go cup creek water and wait for a tadpole to swim in.  To do this, you have to make sure there’s no ground in the clear spaces between your fingers, water will flesh out.  The crawfish that skittered back through the muddy sand after peppering our hands with water droplets smelled of pebbles and empty coke cans that sat out far too long in the sun.  Peeling the flower of a honeysuckle petal to get at the freckle of sweetness.   The way boys would rub buttercups under our chin so we’d lift our faces to their voice.  (They start young).  The turned over trees that became balance beams and my hair, so long and wild that the robins could hear it move.  I imagine it must have sounded like rubbing your thumb against your first two fingers and holding that softness up to your ear.


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