See You Later, Beautiful.

This morning I woke up to a comment that I took the wrong way from someone I have learned to trust and appreciate in this blogging community.  Lately, I’ve been in a book slump and haven’t read anything that I absolutely love.  Today, I spent the day at the NC Lit Festival, listening to artists like Karen Joy Fowler, Megan Mayhew Bergman, Kim Church, Jill McCorkle and others.

This has all led me to this moment right here.  I thought it only fitting that I do this from the toilet (although I’m not using it…we won’t go that meta).

I have decided to take a break from my blog, after four years, and getting to know so many countless, beautiful, engaging, intellectual, inspiring people through this platform and this small corner of the internet that I can call my own.  I was crying in the car just thinking about how much these last four years has meant to me and how scared I am in the next step of my writing journey.  I don’t want to be a bitter blogger who can’t find any books she loves, and becomes that critic that everyone hates, and I don’t ever want to not try to write something on my own that’s independent of this, although I am scared TO DEATH.  Literally, this might be the scariest moment of my life.  I have put all my creative energies, and really, creative dignity into this blog and it has become something that is beyond me and brings me the most pleasure.  I look forward to talking to this community every week and I hope that you all are finding the same relevance, and the same inspiration from me, and this blogging world.  In order for me to sit down and write something that isn’t a blog, I have to give this up for a while.  I’m a heartbroken a little bit, thus the tears in the car ride home and the way I avoided talking to my father downstairs and instead ran up the stairs to write this blog.

I just want you all to know that I love you.  I am still on this journey with you and this is not goodbye, but see you later because I will blog ever so often (I still owe a few publishers a review) and I still want to keep in contact with every lovely person that I’ve met through this.  I’m glad you guys have stuck it out with me for four years through my neurotic, eccentric, insecure and overly excited personality.  I am no perfect creature, but I want to go off and try to write the most perfect book that only I can write.  And let me reiterate, I am scared beyond anything I’ve ever been scared of.  I have cried off and on for about two hours now.  It may be the Port City Java jitters, or it may just be that I know how hard the next step is going to me.

I need to thank the first novel panel at NC Lit Fest for really inspiring me to take this next step.  I also need to thank all of you for all the compliments and the stories and the conversation throughout these four years.  I want to keep talking to you. I’m a great letter writer and I respond to emails eventually…..sometimes, I suck more at that.  My email is clmannes@gmail.com.  If you want to keep our conversations going, feel free to email me.

I hope I can understand why I’m doing this when I am in the writing process and I hope you can understand why I can’t blog and write something at the same time.  I’m trying to give my full dedication to some work that will be produced in the future, who knows what.   If I didn’t write this post right now, I might not have.  So, this is quick, but thank you, I love you, and see you later.


20 responses to “See You Later, Beautiful.

  • Amy

    I just started following you within the past year but your blog quickly became one of my favorites. I’ll definitely miss the updates but good luck with your writing elsewhere!

    • Cassie

      Amy, I thought I would be doing this forever. I’ve been crying on and off for a few hours. I’m a mess, haha. I just can’t give creativity to both pursuits. I will definitely be back. :) your kind words mean so much.

  • Anne

    Sad to hear this. Even though I’ve only recently discovered your blog, I’ve enjoyed your talented writing very much! That being said, I believe you’ve got great writing in you, and I’ll definitely be looking out for whatever you publish. :)

  • Amanda

    It will be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, writing that first book. You will scream, and possibly cry and want to give up. You will leave your blood on the page. I think it’s a little like giving birth (mind you, I’ve never had children, so I could be wrong): it’s long and taxing but in the end, you’ve got this imperfect perfect creation, and then comes the fun part – shaping it.

    But every minute of it is worth it, and with every word, you’re that much closer to your goal. Trust me, getting to type “the end” is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Best of luck to you, Cassie.

    • Cassie

      I am very scared and very nervous and have no idea what I’m doing really. My practice is with reading other books! Ah!!! Thanks for the encouragement love.

  • Geoff W

    Good luck and I can’t wait to see where you end up.

  • Julie Christine

    Cassie, what an amazing journey you are about to begin. I found that blogging about my writing life has helped me sort through my writing process and work out some of the kinks, ya-yas, hangups, and woes. Maybe you will return here to let us know how you are getting on. Blessings to you, and if you need a beta reader when you finish those first drafts, let me know.

    Julie

    • Cassie

      You are awesome, and so sweet. I am in the very scared stage but I have a few startup ideas so I am hoping. Thank you for the blessings, I so need them.

  • Kimberly

    I can’t believe this. You are being serious, aren’t you? I am so sad. I just want you to know I love your blog. It filled my mornings with robust words and delicious flavors that my breakfast couldn’t offer. You are the reason I started blogging about books. I wish I would have commented more in the past! To see you go to do something great makes me really happy, it’s bittersweet. I understand and fully support you. You will do something amazing and once it’s published I will be the first to get my hands on it. Take care and be strong (like I know you are).

    -Kimberly

    • Cassie

      I am being serious :( but I will still blog, just not on a schedule and not unless a book really moves me to do it. I definitely am not just leaving my little internet home. :) it has been great talking with you the last few posts. I hope you love book blogging and you find the same community as I did. You are too sweet. I will try to live up to something good :)

      • Kimberly

        Well that would be great. (I’m not so sad then.) I look forward to your posts. I know you will be amazing! I imagine you will have lots of time to do and learn more, experience being a writer in full depth. You will have a great adventure :)

  • Claire 'Word by Word'

    I believe in you. :)

    You have a wonderful blog and write amazing, unique reviews and have developed that talent to a wonderful level. Now you need to do the same for your creative story writing, but don’t be afraid of the path, it is a step by step process just like everything else we attempt in life, you have bucketloads of passion and enthusiasm, so much so that you have a calling to be a teacher, just leave a little of that magic for your own creative pursuit and allow yourself to learn and make mistakes and practice and fail and pick up and try again without being too self-critical.

    And certainly don’t listen to negative criticism, seek out constructive criticism and know that you are taking steps towards what you’ve always wanted and will be!

    Tears cleanse the soul, good on you, clean that soul and get to work writing, you have a long way to go and many more millions of words to write, but the day will come you will be signing my copy, and maybe even in person.

    Don’t try to live up to anything but getting words on the page and know that it is a process like learning to walk. We all have our own pace and no one is judging.

    Sending Love, light and Energy in abundance Cassie.

    Bonne Continuation!

    • Cassie

      You could have just left it at “I believe in you,” and that would have made my whole week. That means SO MUCH to me as you’re a brilliant writer (not to mention brilliant letter writer). Plus, I adore you. Schmooze fest. :) I think there will definitely be more tears. Especially during the editing process. Right now, I’m just writing to get it down and it is both scary, thrilling, and a lot of research. I will take all the love, light and energy you can send my way, dear!

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